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When You Left Me
Contributed by
Cobalt
on
Wednesday, 17th March 2004 @ 07:00:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Heavens grow cold
without you by my side.
When you went away
it turned my heart to stone.
I'm bleeding just to prove
to myself that I'm alive.
I reach to the stars
and cry out your name.
I still miss you badly
and dream about you.
Fallen without redemption.
Dying and screaming.
Keeps me crying nightly.
It's not fair that
you left me all alone
with broken promises in my lap.
Broken heart beyond repair.
I pray for you back
to mend my broken heart.
Keep me from the cold
please help me back.
Save me from the dark
and hold me in your light.
Repair these promises and
make me whole again.
Raven's Sin
Copyright ©
Cobalt
... [
2004-03-17 19:00:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When You Left Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Wednesday, 17th March 2004 @ 10:35:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very nice write Jeff, I'm quite surprised I'm the first one to comment on this, it definitely deserves to be commented on.
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Re: When You Left Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Wednesday, 17th March 2004 @ 11:02:05 PM AEST
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There's some amazing metaphors in there, and outright emotion riddled through all of it. It flows perfectly, rhyming or not. I love it.
Keep writing,
-Eve. |
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Re: When You Left Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 18th March 2004 @ 01:21:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I liked this a lot very good sorry I have not commented on any of yer stuff lately my comp hasn't been working good lately. I loved the emotion in it... very well done.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: When You Left Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 18th March 2004 @ 10:14:47 AM AEST
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Such loneliness......such hopelessness, expressed perfectly. This one got to me.
Very well said
Larry |
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Re: When You Left Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Thursday, 18th March 2004 @ 12:31:22 PM AEST
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*sniff* Oh my!! What a sad heart tearing poem! Full of imagery that squeeze your heart. Really well written! It's so sad.......*sob* The poem is amazing! Keep it up!
Anne :D |
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Re: When You Left Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kirby on
Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 09:44:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hey Jeff, I haven't commented on anything of yours for awhile. My best friend and I both love this poem soo much. It works soo well for me right now. You always write the best things for me to realate to! Love::::Kirby |
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