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Teach by My Life
Contributed by
SuicidalSon
on
Sunday, 14th March 2004 @ 04:49:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
Lie to me, just to show respect
I understand now how lives reflect
No apologies for the child neglect
I'll raise my own to become perfect
I can teach them now from what you did
To me as I was just a kid
I can show them now what this life means
Just as good as you but without the screams
I can sink it in deep in their head
That if not for me they'd both be dead
My kids to me are the most important thing
I will do no harm only love I bring
I can share my stories I have to tell
I remember my life I don't have to yell
Unlike you I've become a man
And I can make them understand
Without the fighting, without abuse
But from in my writing and in what I choose
The can see the way that things should be
You can't take away what they learn from me
They'll learn this life but not by shame
I've burnt my life and I take the blame
I'll show them life and to play the game
Not to blow their life not to be the same
Not to be like me not to be like you
But to live life free and to live life true
Because my life they see they don't want to do
Its not the way to be now they have a clue
Copyright ©
SuicidalSon
... [
2004-03-14 16:49:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Teach by My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 14th March 2004 @ 05:04:11 PM AEST
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I've got to share this poem with my aunt. It reminds me of my 13 and 11 year old cousins. How you describe your kids, and what they do, and how you'll teach them. Both myself and my aunt will appreciate this poem whole-heartedly. Good write.
liquidsunshine |
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Re: Teach by My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Tuesday, 16th March 2004 @ 01:51:16 AM AEST
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| Well, time to give back some critism that is long over due. In every last poem that I have ever read of yours, you always have a stanza that follows the AAAA format. Also, its always the same rhythm. It does sound like Dr. Suess after awhile. You need to "step outside the box" so to speak. Though not all of my work looks great on paper, its sounds badass in audio form. Poetry and music feed off of variety - A lesson you could learn from. |
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Re: Teach by My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Tuesday, 16th March 2004 @ 08:25:40 PM AEST
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This is good... and when (or if) I ever get blessed with kids, I'll try to follow this. That way I don't pass on what my parents did from theirs....
In response to the above comment... all poets have a signiture in their poems... this is a good one, because unless your looking for it, or read all his poems sucsessively... you don't notice. And I think that it adds an edge. I don't think that SS needs to change a thing.
*J* |
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Re: Teach by My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Saturday, 20th March 2004 @ 04:13:31 AM AEST
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| This is good.. venkat |
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