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Does Anyone Care?
Contributed by
WannaDieCuzImEMO
on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 07:49:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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As I drag this knife across my skin
I think,"Should I push harder down?
Should I, in my own screams, drown?
But, then I get lost in the sound
I know i'm never to be found
Will anyone care?
If I get caught in this snare?
If I was gone tomorrow,
Would you give a sorrow?
Would anyone know
If I wasn't in the flow?
I don't think anyone will
as all my blood spills
onto the floor,
It's screaming M O R E
I NEED TO GIVE MORE
Even if I'm torn
Between right and wrong
Doesn't matter, for I've gone
but hey, no one will care
When I've run out of air
Oh, happy day,
That time is today
Copyright ©
WannaDieCuzImEMO
... [
2004-03-11 19:49:54] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Does Anyone Care?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Magnolia on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 08:11:30 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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this is such a tragic poem. which goes unsaid, i suppose. i'd like to hear more about where it's all coming from... i hope that it isn't sincere because in spite of the fact that i don't know you, i know your writing now and frankly, i'd be worried. another thing, more on the author-to-author criticism level: your poem doesn't have to rhyme. i mean, some believe that rhyming brings more flow into a work, but sometimes it's actually robbed of its rhythm since the author is held back by feeling the necessity to rhyme. try pouring your emotions out there with nothing holding you back and see what type of masterpiece unfurls. |
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