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save me from myself
Contributed by
spider
on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 03:46:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Inwardly dying,
And no one can see.
Outwardly happy,
Cuz its all I can be.
No meaning
To the words I speak.
No joy behind
These memories I keep.
All this screaming,
In my head.
All these voices,
Want me dead.
Save me from want.
And save me from need.
Save me from you.
And save me from me.
Copyright ©
spider
... [
2004-03-11 15:46:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: save me from myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 03:48:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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egh, well i suppose we have to get through the crap to get to the good stuff! but i like this, especially the last line... ;0)
~Remy~ |
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Re: save me from myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 04:20:13 PM AEST
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I don't think this is crap.
In fact I think it's nicely expressed, with a sharp and perfunctory ending.
Tell the voices to shut the hell up from me, 'cos they'll drown out all the positive rhymes you'd write. |
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Re: save me from myself
(User Rating: 1 )
by gery_giggles on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 05:02:00 PM AEST
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this is good..it has a lot of emotion!..keep up the good work!
luv always |
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Re: save me from myself
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 11th March 2004 @ 08:36:05 PM AEST
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| this certainly doesn't suck, but stop that rhyming! rhyming is just a way to hold you back. write your actual emotions, and see what it's like to be free. |
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Re: save me from myself
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 15th March 2004 @ 03:36:41 PM AEST
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| hey now. rhyming is fine! it gives the poem a nice flowing feel, and I think it's fine. Just because one poem written by this person rhymes does not mean this person does not ever write in free verse...rhyming can help get the poem accross. that's up to the poet. i love this one. awesome write! |
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