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Storms passing
Contributed by
Cobalt
on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 12:41:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The sun peaks through rain
another storm has been weathered
silver lines the clouds in the sky.
The world smells so much cleaner
as I still stand outside.
I'm drenched but I'm smilling
feeling like everything is perfect.
The rain has washed
even my jaded existence clean.
I shed my tears at the peak of
the storm today.
It burned as the rain cooled.
I still wonder if I'll ever see you again
but such thoughts don't linger
too long as everything seems pure.
Loved and lost
fallen from heights that
can't seem to be fathomed.
My hand misses yours
but I won't beg again.
It will become comfortable
with another in time.
I look up to the sky
and see my life still
in front of me burning.
It won't stop
just because you left me.
I won't let it
I won't die without you here.
Your voice is missed by
my ears and my
hair misses your fingers.
But another will come
and it will love them.
I'll do better this time
I learn from my mistakes.
I'm not just a fool
and my eyes are still open.
I tried so much to not die
but thats all it took.
That and this storm
one more that I've weathered.
Just like the pain
that you have caused me.
Raven's Sin
Copyright ©
Cobalt
... [
2004-03-10 00:41:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 12:52:15 AM AEST
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this is so heartfelt and beautifully penned, jeff, my new favorite of yours, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->-
p.s. umm *raises her hand* your not the only one who loves to stand outside in hurricane conditions lol, there's a few of us weirdos around, but im not tellin who else:P |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 02:13:28 AM AEST
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"The rain has washed even my jaded existence clean...Loved and lost..fallen from heights .I won't die without you here.I tried so much to not die..and this storm ..one more that I've weathered."..wonderful painting of life with stormy back ground..Heart felt write..
even though sad it is really beautiful..
venkat
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 03:23:36 AM AEST
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| I really enjoyed this write of yours ... you have said much in this - more than just stormy weather, but stormy feelings, as well ... but your words show that you are strong and ready for new love ... great write... Jan |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 03:24:21 AM AEST
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I agree with venket, even tho sad it's really beautifull.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 06:21:50 AM AEST
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I considered not passing comment on this, but I reckoned that would be churlish, as this expression deserves at least some recognition of merit from myself.
It expressed sentiments I have felt, but have never thought about expressing.
"The world smells so much cleaner"
Is one that stood out. A commendable, original and honest performance.
And of course - I have stood out in many a storm myself, through choice or otherwise . . . |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 08:42:31 AM AEST
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| Nice comparison and well put. I like the gist of the whole poem, that we live on, even through stormy weather. Whatever that may be! |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 10:58:37 AM AEST
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I can relate to this completely. The line about one hand missing another is my favorite. BTW, my whole family was out in our last hurricane. The kids were actually rafting inthe backyard. Storms are very cool. The more violent the better.
Stitch |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stalkee on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 11:51:21 AM AEST
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| this was beautiful...I loved this, totally awesome...and I love stormy weather =)...Stalkee |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 04:44:19 PM AEST
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| This one really touched me. Your pain and anguish was expressed perfectly. Kie |
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Re: Storms passing
(User Rating: 1 )
by PumpkinPie on
Monday, 15th March 2004 @ 11:07:12 PM AEST
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Very nice write Cobalt, I felt your despair and it hit home to a certain extent. P.S:(I also love storms, in fact I love them more than sunshine, when the next one comes,I'll gladly join you,we can admire it together)
PumpkinPie;) |
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