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The Great Race
Contributed by
LiquidChaos
on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 08:45:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I feel once more
The burn of threatened tears
Brought upon by
This chill of sullen fear
In search for an exit
The hope of sweet escape
I find only darkness
As my fate begins to fade
I have lost all sense
Of passive inspiration
My last of all companions
A lingering relation
To feel it all again
The rush of happiness
Impossible to still return
Ignorance lost in chance
And so with humble silence
Progression falters and halts
But arrogence remains
To highlight still my faults
I run ever faster
To escape sweet inner death
Stamina evaporates
I can no longer catch my breath
Obstructive memories of time with you
Continue till my anger is gone
I feel myself begin to fade
Suffocating, I run on
Numbness catches up with me
As I run faster still
Hope I've lost along the way
Help me escape this sullen chill.
Copyright ©
LiquidChaos
... [
2004-03-09 20:45:56] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 1 ) by New_York_Chick on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 09:53:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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interesting poem |
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 10:33:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I think what you've got here is a very good beginning. There's a lot of potential, feelings that others can relate to, and some well-chosen words. Look for places you can tighten or where you maybe weren't quite clear or rambled. Keep writing.
Stitch |
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 10:41:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I loved it. Just wonderful. I loved every word. Well done.
Arden
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Re: The Great Race
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:28:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hey addie, i think you're an amazing writer, and an awesome friend too. I love The Great Race, and i know someday you will find the end. LIfe is tough, but there is hope. Love you always, Ashley |
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