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Ascend
Contributed by
remy
on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:47:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
and the principle sounds...
settle for nothing less than to take air from this ground.
oh if you only knew, perhaps then you might see.
straight from the basement ways, through darker days
passing seconds played on the deck out at sea.
listen, wait, wait
a moment, just wait, it's great
ascend, fate, fate
don't hate this...
still this moment beckons...
to reach out far past the grasp of all that i've held on.
oh if only i knew, then you watch wait and see.
stuck round the closing hour, this ancient tower
taking note of our second ways thrown in recently.
listen, wait, wait
a moment, hey wait, it's hate
decline, great, great
don't hate this...
while the focus comes out...
some day we could try but now i won't know what it's about.
oh when somebody knew, i'll turn lock hold and see.
how this drawn over song, it was always wrong
as you came along it looked like the truth to me.
and the purpose sounds...
the purpose...
it sounds...
and the focus went out...
some day we could die but now i won't go for that route.
oh but when i do, i'll turn lock and swallow key.
remember the stupid song, how you came along
didn't feel much like a lie when i could see.
and the principle sounds...
settle for nothing less than to take air from this ground.
you know and you knew, always saw and will see.
came through the basement ways, even darker days
passed all the seconds on the deck with me.
handled the deck with me.
principle sound you see.
wait, move, you and me.
you and me...
Copyright ©
remy
... [
2004-03-09 16:47:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:51:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like this its interesting. nice wording. good write i enjoyed it.
Arden |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 05:17:28 PM AEST
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| this is wonderful remy, love your style and flow here:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 05:41:34 PM AEST
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I found myself particularly intrigued by your intermittent, speedy rhythm sections - I've never tried rhyming like that before, and they were quite eye-catching. The rest was readily imaginative, if a little impenetrable to my palate.
Quite an influential write.
Well done. |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 05:42:23 PM AEST
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| I agree I thought this was a wonderful poem. Parts I could almost being whispered upon the wind. Thank you for sharing this one. Kie |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 06:45:11 PM AEST
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| the "emo girl" in me says this is great writing!! :) |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by PRECIOUSBECKY on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 06:57:58 PM AEST
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| GREAT WRITING |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jason_Robert_Britt on
Wednesday, 10th March 2004 @ 05:09:36 PM AEST
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some day we could die but now i won't go for that route.
oh but when i do, i'll turn lock and swallow key.
that reminded me of a Deftones line...
"Death is the standard breech for a complex prize."- Hexagram,... not sure why.
This was an excellent write... would make a killer song. I will definately read more! |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dina on
Wednesday, 17th March 2004 @ 04:13:59 AM AEST
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| This was worth reading and contemplating. |
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Re: Ascend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 10:29:19 PM AEST
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| a very unique style pulled off well. written extremely well. |
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