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Heaven
Contributed by
doug
on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 03:18:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
i wake from the dream
to the bluest sky i've ever seen
i stand and look around
and see a thousand dreaming beings
i don't know where to go
but then i hear a voice i know
where are we i ask
silly boy we are at home
i turn to see a man
and where is home i then demand
he beckons me to follow
come with me you'll understand
it seems we walk for days
through the dreaming body maze
i trip on a sleepers head
bloody hell my friend exclaims
i'm sorry i said aghast
he smiles at me and then he laughs
don't worry you cannot wake them
not untill their dream has passed
so along the path we stride
a thousand flowers on each side
a cool breeze blows
i stop annoyed and ask my guide
where we going friend
he laughed aloud and then he said
we wont be long now
our destinations just ahead
and so we travel on
unto a cabin by a pond
a man sits on the porch
his cloths are white, his beard is long
he gets up from his chair
and hugs me as i'm standing there
i don't know what to say
he looks at me without a care
then he laughs aloud
pats my back and sits back down
a voice from above
calls my name , i look around
on the roofs a man
he has a hammer in his hand
he ask me how i'm doing
i had a terrible dream i said
----------------------------------------------------------
i hope you understood the poem but if not then the old man on the porch was God and the carpenter on the roof was of course Jesus. thanks for reading , your friend doug
Copyright ©
doug
... [
2004-03-09 15:18:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 03:25:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i see you put much effort into this as your rhyming is excellent! it's not really the kind of poem that like, but i think it's ok, all the same.
deathdrop. |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 03:27:28 PM AEST
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interesting and clever. good work i really enjoyed it.
Arden |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:38:57 PM AEST
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| very creative, hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 04:43:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Doug,
Arden suggested I check out your poetry, and I am so glad I did. This was wonderful. Delightful. I especially love the ending. I picture home somewhat that way, too. You have made me smile.
Stitch |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by Putteragain on
Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 05:28:33 PM AEST
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this is superb doug my new favorite thanks
michelle |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Monday, 22nd March 2004 @ 11:52:48 PM AEST
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| I had the image in my head. I catch on quick without reading the comment at the end. LOL Great write. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: Heaven
(User Rating: 1 )
by True on
Friday, 21st July 2006 @ 10:29:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Interesting. I take it the friend is an angel. "Bloody Hell" isn't something I'd expect an angel to say. Altogether an interesting idea. "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended, that you have but slumbered here, whilst these visions did appear." Shakespeare |
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