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Twisting and screaming
Contributed by
Cobalt
on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 01:23:54 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I call your line
but your not there.
I guess that I
was just a naive child.
You left me smilling.
You left me crying.
The grave I dug
has always been my own.
You tore me up
you drank my life.
Left nothing but
a dying shell.
I know that I'm
a poor excuse at life.
Just never knew
how to mesure up.
That's why I'm going
to take my life tonight.
Pop these pills.
Tie the noose.
Use this knife
to tune my wrists.
I'll make sure I
do it right.
You aren't here to
hold me tight
so I hug myself
and say goodbye.
I'm letting go of life.
Raven's Sin
Copyright ©
Cobalt
... [
2004-03-06 01:23:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by dark_poetry2404 on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 01:26:14 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i like |
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 05:13:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Me likeys... awesome choice of words. Very dark and bitter. Love it.
~ Moonlit |
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 07:47:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| too sad and lifeless, kept it well together though. i like, but it touches my soul. |
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 10:14:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Sadly, I can't say I like this, it would be like
encouraging pain and I couldn't do that
Good expression though and if this is true,
I hope things get better for you soon. |
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 02:21:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Great write... good expression... but I hope it's not true... if it is... remember the best is yet to come... life....
take care
Hugs ~Donna~ |
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by SAT on
Sunday, 7th March 2004 @ 06:58:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow, i love it. great write, keep it up!
Alicia Marie
~*SAT*~ |
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Re: Twisting and screaming
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 12:59:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is good. The line about using the knife to tune the wrists is exceptional. The ending about the hug is good, too. Not nuts about the last line only because I don't think it quite measures up to the rest.
Stitch |
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