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what a life (my hell on earth)
Contributed by
desire
on
Monday, 1st March 2004 @ 11:09:29 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
born to a father who loved me so
was he my biological i really don't know
but i do know he was there from the beginning with love
and i thank my heavenly father up above
everywhere he went i was there to
my daddy loved me is all i knew.
now my mother well she was quite the opposite i can say
she never liked me from the first day
she always cursed me and hit me for no reason at all,.
for some reason when it came to loving me she had built a wall
she never hit me when my dad was around
she only glared and didn't make a sound
but no soon than he left out the door i already knew
that my punishment was coming, but what could i do
she was always calling me names hoping id get mad and yell back
but before i knew what hit me SMACK
right up side my head
those were some of the times i would of rather been dead
a **** wasted is what she said to me
my very own mother hated me.
what could i say when she waited for a reaction
she had hurt me with words and that was her satisfaction
she would call me names and tell the boys to join in to
they all laughed an made fun of me what could i do
but walk and hold my head down low
and beg and plead for the tears not to flow
because that's what she wanted to see me cry
she ejoyed my pain and thats no lie
i would cry so hard it i would have trouble catching my breath
i wonder how often she wished for my death
we had to stand in the yard and we couldn't run
while she threw small tomatoes at us just for fun.
it was humiliating and i hated her for how she made me feel
having her for a mother was not a good deal.
i would have to stand at the top of the stairs and not run
while she threw glass whatnots at me for fun
the particles broke and glass often shattered at me feet
seeing my cry made her mission complete
she would be hitting me in the head with a brush or hands
all i could do was wonder what was in her plans
i tried to stay out of her site and hopefully out of mind
but when ever she got mad it was me she'd come and find
what about my brothers i wondered why don't she hit them to
i was tired of being hit on and cursed out but what could i do
she was my mother and know one knew
the hell that she was putting me through
except one woman who kinda knew but never got to see
how my mother treated me
till one day she was hitting me and i couldn't breath i was crying so hard
she took me to this woman who said "oh lord"
you gonna kill this girl if you don't stop beating her so much
to me this woman had the magic touch
she would come and get me and i loved her so
even more than she could know
i truly believed with out here i don't know where i would be
because of her i have my sanity
the beatings went on but not like they were before
i had someone who loved me and i was always welcome at her door
she gave me a little more courage to not be so afraid
but i still stayed clear of my mothers tirades
having people laugh at me is what she loved to do
but no more tears would come through
i was tired of crying and being afraid to just say
why are you always treating me this way
those words i never had courage enough to say
words i never uttered even to this day
she took me to different relatives i would stay here or there
for a price i could stay anywhere
i hated some of the places she would make me stay
it was my life and i never got a say
no one ever asked my opinion on anything concerning me
most didn't want me around and that wasn't hard to see
but as long as the money was coming i was there
and after a while i started not to care
no one listened to me anyway,
i was just a kid in the way
but i was getting older and finding my voice to speak
but my courage as far as my mother went was still very weak
between the woman who helped me and my sister, i knew
eventually there would be nothing she could do
she left for a year coming every once in awhile to stay
but i loved the fact that she had went away
no yelling and screaming no hitting, i was free
for the time being i could be me
but eventually she came home and was nicer i can say
but the fact that she hated me didn't go away
she didn't hit me anymore and that part seemed over at last
so i started having a few friends an that was a blast.
one night i came home, she was waiting for me with a belt and the boys in tow,
and started hitting me but nothing live befo
she told the boys to laugh at me and that let me know
that she was putting on yet another show
and as much as i hated it the tears started to flow
and those would be that last that's what she didn't know
it wasn't becos she was hitting me, that didnt hurt at all
it was looking up and seeing the brothers laughing aganist the wall
thats what hurt me most of all
Copyright ©
desire
... [
2004-03-01 11:09:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: what a life (my hell on earth)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 1st March 2004 @ 11:17:46 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Wow! You have struggled. We all have our own journeys. They can be so rough. I feel for you. I'm thankful you have God. He ALWAYS LOVES...ALWAYS COMFORTS...ALWAYS GUIDES.
Stitch |
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