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Untitled
Contributed by
InteruptedFate
on
Saturday, 28th February 2004 @ 11:23:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Hope's a waste,
Salty Taste,
Fallen tears from bright blue eyes.
Broken heart,
But loves not far,
Eyes are blinded by fate's disguise.
Copyright ©
InteruptedFate
... [
2004-02-28 11:23:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by neglected1 on
Saturday, 28th February 2004 @ 02:16:06 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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being honest/ i didnt really like it.. i mean it has a good story line in it but its too short and not alot of thought into it... im not puttin down your work or your thoughts but next time just as an opinion think about how words go together and simple is not always the key.. it doesnt matter if it makes sense to others but if you know whats going on it makes a whole difference..
nice write... always room for improvments though.. also try to think of a title.. a good title brings in a reader!!
~neglected1~
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallensilence on
Saturday, 28th February 2004 @ 03:02:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| im gonna have to disagree with neglected. this poem is awesome. sometimes you dont need a lot of lines to get something across and i think that you prove it with this poem. -david |
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