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The Darkness
Contributed by
Wicked
on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 11:55:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The music echos around and beyond all this silence
I see the faces the frowns the tears as they're drying
The rain comes down as a smooth carress upon their faces
Hiding the tears now no more endearing traces
They are all so discouraged as i hear one whisper
She died as she lived, alone and without noone caring
A strange chill runs up my spin and thru my body
Why am i shaking, why all the melancholy
The dreary evening is quickly blocked from my view
I realize too late this is my dying my ending my due
Panicking beyond belief i scream out into the darkness
Awakening none to quick to all the realization, the awareness
A sweat upon my brow, a lone tear upon my cheek
I look around the room, it was just a dream
Why do such dreams haunt me each and every day
Somethings gotta give, what more can i say
Copyright ©
Wicked
... [
2004-02-26 23:55:04] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 12:08:34 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well done, I enjoyed this a lot. Keep at it. |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 ) by Saitou-sama on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 12:09:37 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is really good. It's very deep. Keep up the good work. |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 12:57:14 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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ooooo! excellent write:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: The Darkness
(User Rating: 1 ) by forever_lonely on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 07:58:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Excellent write my friend, words expressed only you can hear and feel truely, yet to everyone else, they broke the barriers of darkness and imploded light upon the page
The wording is perfect, the structure is flawless, the flow and rhythem puts me to shame, rhyming almost perfect to the word
One critism would be write the use of full words instead of abriviations, thru, etc just gives that element of carelessness that your poetry obviously doesnt hold
Other than that minor point an earth shattering write full of emotion, excellent
Luke |
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