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SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 01:36:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
Sometimes in a woman's lfe,
A Dr. prescribes support, alleviating strife.
Mine said, "Support Hose for you Connie
Your feet are swelling grossly!"
Had no idea what would come of this?
Bought very expensive stretch hose,
non-swelling bliss?
Had to be measured, ankle, calf, thigh.
Best buy three pair, stock good supply.
What a nightmare, if I'd only known
My head, I'd rather be hit with a hailstone!
My critters watch me putting on hose, signal....
I'm going to leave them sometime today!
They get all nervous, and cry, then whine
My big toe won't fit in these hose of mine!
I stretch, fetch, going for the homestretch.
I pull, handful, push-pull, handful, pull, wretch!
Sweating now, over aggravated exasperation!
Circling Critters, moaning, me
stretching with passion!
Like a bootstrap, trying to jump into the toe....
Steady as you go, pulling, twisting my elbow!
Painful cries emit from my now hollow chest!
I'm depressed, have to stop and rest....
I have to wear these things or a blood clot get!
Blood clot threat? I'm having
a heart attack fret!
My Critters go for help, they're only
hope for me.
Montie appears, and laughs as hard
as can be!
"You think this is so funny, my toe won't fit?"
He did get my toe in, he gets some credit!
Now for the heel, you've got to be kidding?
Hemming, hawing, heaving,
hauling, hanging...
So tight around my ankle...no blood can pass!
Now my toe has turned purple,
I'm ailing, I gasp!
Struggling quandary, determination drained.
Slowly, deliberately, stretch
to thigh maintained.
I'm not doing the other leg, as I thought...
One leg is covered, only half of a blood clot!
Created by
Cheri Cam LeBren
February 26, 2004
"Stretching Smiles"
"Keep your face to the sunshine
and you cannot see the shadow..
It's what sunflowers do!"
Helen Keller
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2004-02-26 13:36:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by mercedes on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 01:42:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This had me laughing hysterically. I could just picture you struggling as this is something most of us gals have struggled with. Who came up with panty hose anyway? Great write. |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aika on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 03:03:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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((((((((((CONNIE)))))))))))))))))))))))))
this was amazing, fantastic!!! i laughed a lot.. .omg! you are such a sweet woman, can write about whatever in this world!!! Love you a lot!! and i have many good reasons why! Aika:-) |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 03:15:03 PM AEST
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Rollllllllllllllllllllling. I can't stop laughing.
You poor thing. I don't know what to say. You are so funny, loved your poem. Kie |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 03:18:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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LMAO!!!! You are the greatest when it comes to humorous poems...lol..
Keep them coming....
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 04:35:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| you always bring a smile my friend!!!!! |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 07:28:44 PM AEST
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| SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY.... SO GOOD... SANDY |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Thursday, 26th February 2004 @ 08:02:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| OMG This made me laugh so hard! I just tried on a pair of hose getting ready for my shower & boy did I struggle to get them on & off pluss get them up above my belly! LOL! Christina |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 01:23:15 AM AEST
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This poem is a killer!!!!!! I laughed until I almost couldn't breathe. The scenario played out in my mind and I laughed so hard I couldn't stop. You are a delightful comedienne, my dear friend.
Hugs and gales of laughter,
Rita |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 03:01:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| LMAO, this had me in stitches ConnieSue .. loved it ... great poem .. Jan |
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Re: SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by skinsfan on
Wednesday, 5th May 2004 @ 12:21:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This was an awesome write. Keep me laughing the whole way. Nice job -skinsfan |
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