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Regrets
Contributed by
PhewNo
on
Tuesday, 10th September 2002 @ 10:12:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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(Why’d it take so long)
Why’d it take so long
For me to finally see
That you didn’t really love me
I was blinded by your beauty
I thought you loved me truly
But no
Just like that you let me go
I regret loving you so
That pain you caused you’ll never know
I shoulda stopped loving her long ago
But I didn’t and I paid the price
For giving her my all and being nice
Shoulda saw through her shoulda looked twice
But I was blinded I saw what I wanted to
I regret wasting my time chasing her
Now I gotta waste time erasing her
From my mind
For all time
But it’s hard
Cuz she’s fine
I regret loving her
To my brother and sis
Who I always made *****
I made fun of ‘em about that and this
Gave ‘em a bunch of put-downs and B.S.
I’m sorry y’all I was full of it
And no matter what I do I can’t forget
How I made y’all feel, sent you into a fit
Used to pull out your chair when you tried to sit
I’m sorry sis for ruining your softball glove
It’s a horrible memory I always think of
I’m sorry bro for not showin’ you enough love
No kisses, no “I Love Yous”, no hugs
I stole y’alls money got y’all grounded too many times
I can’t take back words that I sounded too many times
Said y’all were fat and round too many times
Used to threaten y’all to get pounded too many times
I know these lines don’t change years of pains I caused
I can’t create memories never made and forever lost
I didn’t think that missing time would come at such a cost
I regret not loving my sister and bro
To the number one girl who treated me the best
These words I gotta say and get off my chest
When you left my life happiness was less
I took our whole friendship into an ugly mess
You were the best girl that was ever in my life
A million times I swore you’d be my wife
With you around things felt better than right
In my life you were the brightest light
But I threw it away because of Jealousy
I was scared that you still loved you ex
All that envy was incredibly stupid of me
It’s too late now but I finally see
I wish I could have those great moments again
You ain’t even gotta be my girl, just my friend
As long as you in my life when it comes to an end
Because you were always one out there with a hand to lend
I loved you so much and when I left I was lost
This time the pain and loss I caused
I shoulda known losin’ you would come at such a cost
I regret not loving you when I had you
Sorry Mom and Dad I took so long to grow up
I didn’t understand that what you did was for my best
You loved me more and more I thought you loved me less and less
Compared to other parents you were worse than the rest
I thought wanted me to fail on the journey of life my quest
But it was always the other way around I see that today
You taught me that life wasn’t always gonna go my way
And despite my bad behavior you’d listened to what I’d say
But with bad behavior come nights at home on Saturday and Friday
You tried to show me the way the world works so I wouldn’t fail
All you wanted was for to the succeed, achieve my dreams, prevail
You always tried to push me along on life’s treacherous trail
When I was at camp, every day that was a letter from you in the mail
Out of your 3 kids I was probably the most trouble, the rotten egg
Every night you’d come home and I’d turn everything to a rotten day
I’d yell, complain, fight, steal, cheat, break valuables, make you cry, run away
And every time I came back you told me you wanted me to stay
Lookin’ back on the years, months, weeks, and day of my past
I see now, and realize that all I was to you two was an a**
I regret being the ungrateful kid that I was
To someone who was a best friend
I didn’t make her feel like she was
I dunno why it was just because
I had to have someone I could kick around
It was her, but with every kick she was nicer still
Sometimes it got to me I thought she was pressed
But despite that, times without her I was depressed
She always told me I was talented and boosted my confidence
But I coulda swore that all she was, was an honest witch
She wrote about me the way I wrote about my ex-love
I knew about it and never gave her as much as a hug
These days I was an jerk are all that I can think of
I made up a nickname for her that I wish I could take back
Because now she is known by my friends as “Hairy Sac”
I never that a little joke would amount to that
I shoulda cut her a lot more slack
Cuz all she wanted was to be my friend
I treated her so bad I’m surprised she didn’t make her life end
But here I am with a million apologies to send
I regret not being able to see
I treated her the same way a girl I hate treated me
To myself who I never let come out
I was too scared to be who I really am
I was scared that I wouldn’t be a man
I kept myself bottled inside, never to be let out
I had to kill the inner me so he wouldn’t get out
So I became this arrogant selfish dike
But what I became was what the majority did like
But there were a half dozen who did not like what I had become
And those were the ones that I needed for life to mean something
Because if those people were not with me I would be nothing
I’m sorry to myself for night listening to the angel side of my heart
Killed it, shut it, now it’s locked in the dark
It’s been so long I don’t know if I can ever go back
To being Matthew instead of Matt
The alter-ego I am is so hard to resist
He is the only part of me that exists
The fact that the good part of me is what I forget
Is what has created each and every last regret
Copyright ©
PhewNo
... [
2002-09-10 10:12:58] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Regrets
(User Rating: 1 ) by Suzy on
Tuesday, 10th September 2002 @ 05:41:01 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is an awesome right...so full of raw emotion and reality...seems like everyone has things they regret and once they realize what they have done it's always too late....thanks for sharing this..
Lasca |
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Re: Regrets
(User Rating: 1 ) by wyrd_faerie on
Thursday, 10th July 2003 @ 02:06:46 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is absolutely amazing...i don't know what to say...wow...bets of yours i have read...wow... |
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