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Tears of a Tome
Contributed by
forever_lonely
on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 08:45:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Dripping with ink, this page now reflects
Full of lost stories and meanings complex
It sings of a life, flowing with pride
It mirrors a love, forseeing a bride
A band had been chosen, the day was so near
The music was playing, the moon was a sphere
The beams graced the lands, the serenade was sweet
The moment was perfect as the lovers did meet
His actions were flawless, entwined they became
His lips touched her skin, their passions aflame
As their sweet moment, began to elapse
He fell to one knee, as if to colapse
Filled with such horror she followed him down
As he went to his pocket and brought forth a crown
His words spoken so softly, he asked her to be
With a nod of her head, she answered his plea
Their life was so perfect, nothing was wrong
But like all good books, it sung a new song
A tear was to shed, for the man of her life
A funeral took place, before she became wife
It was a bullet, that took him from her
But how it all happened seemed more than a blur
She remembers an alley, she remembers a thump
She remembers a shot, how in front he did jump
The book is now closing, the ink has now dried
Each drop was a tear that poor girl had cried
These pages are written, with the tears that she shed
Stained with the pain, that her soulmate is dead.
Copyright ©
forever_lonely
... [
2004-02-23 20:45:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 09:10:13 PM AEST
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Stunning......
Absolutely stunning......
Tells the whole story, but isn't too obvious with details. I love that.
Excellently done.
God bless,
Ellen |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 09:12:55 PM AEST
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| Oh my this was a sad one. Brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written. Kie |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 09:42:36 PM AEST
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| Very Good, written well... |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 09:58:23 PM AEST
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wow.... this is amazing Luke.
just amazing.... |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Yodo on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 10:17:38 PM AEST
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I really liked it. It flowed, it rhymed FLAWLESSLY. It seemed to just run right.
But I will say it seems cliche. Not to rain on your great poem, but it's just... yeah. Like the movies.
Anyway, I wanted to say your style RAWKS, but the story is cliche. I look forward to reading more of your work. You're good. |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Juggalette_carebear on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 10:29:58 PM AEST
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| WOW!?!? This poem is amazing. I REALLY hope u keep writing. I can say the best poem I have ever read. Keep it up. ~Sam~ |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 11:00:52 PM AEST
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YOU GOT GOLD WHEN YOU WRITE! SAD OR NOT,YOUR A GREAT WRITER ! YOU CAN'T BE THAT LONELY,WITH A GREAT BIG SWEET HEART!! NUFF SAID!!!
LOL-DAN!!!! |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 03:12:54 AM AEST
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| Wow, great poem, wonderful flow, R&R, all in all a really enjoyable poem ... Jan |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 03:58:59 AM AEST
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I absolutely have no words to describe how I felt after reading this poem. To call it magnificent would be an understatement. Amazing, really a poem of brilliance.
~blueheart |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Empty_Soul on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 12:48:36 PM AEST
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| wow, this is such an amazing poem dude, love each one more than the last but i dont think even you will be able 2 top this little beaut. :) |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 04:49:50 PM AEST
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| ohhhhh so sad...... *sniffs* written beautifully, a masterpiece:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 07:45:04 PM AEST
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I truly am humbled reading these. Your talent is astounding . Flawless poetry
Bar keeper, a drink for my friend :o)
Larry |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 06:37:42 AM AEST
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Luke...I say this with all sincerity; your talent has finally come full circle on this one. Your last half-dozen or so poems have, in my opinion, been leading up to this.
Your style has really blossomed. Your ability as a writer far surpasses mine. This is the single best piece you've ever written, and I choose not to tarnish it with sub-standard commentary. A silent, mouth-open-wide gaze should be sufficient.
Truly,
-Dan |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Empty_Soul on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 11:34:39 AM AEST
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| lol i jus realised this has a kinda Dr Zeus style feel to it, lol. quality though, an obviously much more mature than Dr Zeus poems lol |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Merry on
Wednesday, 25th February 2004 @ 01:03:25 PM AEST
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a very interesting story line to this poem - it started out so bright and full of hope then went all dark and sad -
well written -
merry |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th March 2004 @ 09:28:05 AM AEST
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To luke u have an amazing talent, again I am proud to know you and have been there while this talent has bloomed, Im soooooo proud of u bud
Ur Friend foreva Jimbob |
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Re: Tears of a Tome
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 07:46:56 AM AEST
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A story teller after my own heart.
This unfolded with grace and eloquence befitting a write I should expect to pay money for.
Thanks for the freebie! |
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