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~Missing You So~
Contributed by
pumpkinpie
on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 04:18:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
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Longing souls, desolate surface of the truth
Picturesque valleys, indulgence of the youth
The smell of thick shampoo and juicy fruit
An unrequited answer inside the telephone booth
Shooting stars devoured by the endless skies
The affair never quite begun,just fully quite demised
The yearning kiss never amply bestowed
Just snitched by the sunset in a trip down the road
The daisy standing still in the desert waiting for her rain
The snow longing to catch a glimpse of the sun,it's beauty contained
The memory of a once sweet melody captured by the violin
The echo in the wind that carries the whispers of the wistful woman
Copyright ©
pumpkinpie
... [
2004-02-23 16:18:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 04:23:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is good keep up the good work! |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by neglected1 on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 04:32:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| its good.. but im being honest it really didnt grab me and pull me in ... it was kind of dull... but overall good work!! |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 06:53:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I on the other hand didn't find this dull at all i found it was written with lots of emotions and you could feel the thirst ,the need expressed through the author.you feel the sadness and it just engulfs you.i enjoyed it from beginning to end,very well done,loved the contrasts used,keep writing,Kylie-xxx- |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by kori31 on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 10:09:54 PM AEST
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| Beautiful......I can definitely relate.....I feel like u read my mind...great write.......kori |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 03:25:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Beautiful expression ... wistful and lovely ... Jan |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 10:04:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Yep I can certainly relate. I've been there, and i'm still there! A beautiful, expressive poem. Well done. Kie |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 03:15:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
so romantic...so beautifully written ( smiles)
Very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 09:28:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| lovely images, charmingly whistful....... hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by blackmarker on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 06:09:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great imagery.. simply beautiful! |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by lost_angeluk on
Friday, 2nd July 2004 @ 01:40:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a great poem really made me think!!!!
From lost_angeluk |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Saturday, 28th August 2004 @ 01:29:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow this poem is so detailed and powerful i love this! I think you should be proud of this piece because as i read it, I feel that this is a poem only you could write - you've really opened up your mind to write this piece. You've stamped your identity all over this and it’s all the better for it - with lines such as 'The smell of thick shampoo and juicy fruit
An unrequited answer inside the telephone booth' I'd never of thought of those lines - it’s a pumpkinpie special of a poem...
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 10:40:25 PM AEST
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Wonderful.
Spazzo |
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Re: ~Missing You So~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 03:49:40 PM AEST
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| This is so powerful and creatively worded I have a lump in my throat and teared up. It also kind of relates to a time of my life I am going through. Brilliantly written :) |
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