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Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 04:28:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
An old man and a eight-year old sat upon the benches
The eight-year old in second grade, the elder from the trenches:
"Young child, you know, the world spins
On timing and decisions
Instead of burning all the way
One flares with bright precision.
Everything is governed by its opportunities
And those who wait for perfect times are those who gain the edge
Instead of swinging all your strength in importunity
Just slow your gait, yet don't abate, while fools vault off the ledge
Save your dimes for when you're broke
Save your dreams for when you wake
Keep your mirth for when you joke
And scrimp your candles for your cake.
Store your strength for when you're weak
Hoard the joy for when you're down
Stash your loathe for when you need it
Retain your fat for when you drown
Save your mind for when you're thinking
Save your eyes between the blinking
Hold your words for when you're calm
Stay your voice for singings psalms
Cache you hope for dire fate
Save forgiveness for when you hate
Keep the heart for when you've bled
Save your soul until you're dead."
The child smiled eagerly, a question in his eyes
They left his lips into the air, inquistively blithe
"This all I can try to do, yet I don't understand
How do you save something you don't have?"
~Eternity's Lyre (Who thinks he will write an artsy poem next time)
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-02-22 04:28:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 05:01:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A far cry from anything i've yet seen from you, but no less of a gem. Naturally, your rhymes are sublime and rhythm is without equal. Where this really excels, however, is how much it pushes you to think. Skillfully done, my friend.
Truly,
-V.S. |
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 05:07:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This one is very good as is.
Very thought provoking and creative.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 10:35:51 AM AEST
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Highly thought-provoking, original, rhythmic and honestly sentimental, and not at all artsy, for whatever that means . . .
Another impressive title. Well done. |
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 10:43:43 AM AEST
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A very impressive write my friend...words of great wisodm here and very well written as always.
Well done
Larry |
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 01:35:10 AM AEST
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| Perfect R&R ... and the depth in your poems amazes me considering your young age ... you have enormous talent ... great write ... Jan |
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by smooshable on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 08:49:33 AM AEST
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| I love it, what more can I say, it rhymes, sounds silly but I absloutly love that. But more than that, the rhyme is all with reason, it isn't ryme for the sake of ryme. It flows magestically. I love it. |
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Re: Save
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 02:47:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| ..smiles :o) venkat |
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