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A feeling of nothingness
Contributed by
kellros
on
Saturday, 21st February 2004 @ 05:42:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Oh, another day unwanted,
another breathe uncraved for.
A feeling that life owes you,
a feeling that life owns you
A wasted life, like water down a drain,
a meaningless endevor, causeless cause.
Everything i had, is now lost,
for this is the last breath I breathe....
Knowledge, a worthless cause,
in the end you are dead,
and in the next realm there might
be no past, nor future,
and all the knowledge you have gained,
is lost because nothing will be the same.
The day approaches, a light shines through my window, my eyes hurt, somehow i don't feel like i can go on... an image of her face appears in my mind, once more i will find, that she is there waiting for me, always waiting just for me,
for this i am thankful, all i have left is her.
Copyright ©
kellros
... [
2004-02-21 17:42:40] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A feeling of nothingness
(User Rating: 1 ) by Blu on
Saturday, 21st February 2004 @ 06:00:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Love it. Good imagery... painted a picture in my mind. Kind of reminds me of the Melissa Etheridge video "Come to My Window" with Juliette Lewis in it. Ever see it? |
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Re: A feeling of nothingness
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Saturday, 21st February 2004 @ 06:11:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The sentiments here are beautifully expressed---especially the last few lines. Try to avoid cliches "like water down a drain." Finding another way to say it will strengthen your work.
Stitch |
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Re: A feeling of nothingness
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kellros on
Saturday, 21st February 2004 @ 06:20:26 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'll keep that in mind since i'm only 15 |
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Re: A feeling of nothingness
(User Rating: 1 ) by silent on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 09:07:04 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Quite well written with a good impact. |
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Re: A feeling of nothingness
(User Rating: 1 ) by MemoriesofthePAST on
Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 05:24:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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love.
simple.
-darcii-
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