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LOOK AT ME!

Contributed by sunflowerstar on Monday, 9th September 2002 @ 06:36:23 AM in AEST
Topic: Grief

It took a long time to not watch
the clock and count the number
of times the small arrow goes
around and around with anticipation
for the six o'clock news and the
film at eleven; It was even harder
to say that it doesn't make my day
go darker when the mailman (or is it
mailperson) brings an advertisement
from Pizza Hut instead of an
envelope with smudges and your
crabbed penmanship, and a letter
of how you miss the way I always
rubbed your back and shoulders,
helping you sleep, your head
against the softness of my breasts;
and the phone ringing and ringing
when we were excited, and touching
and afterwards eating in bed; I
stopped doing that because bad
habits are hard to break and I'm
much better now at sleeping alone
with the doors locked and the
lights on. My mind has not let go
of the drink on the table and the
chair is empty when I ran screaming
your name; neighbors looking,
pointing fingers and chatting
over fences; 'my but she took it
hard', their thoughts shout out
at me- and I did not throw out
your old socks, longing for the
time when they covered your feet
and you'd complain how everything
was too small; the doctor said
in twenty letter hyphenated words
that translated in my heart to
missing you; a you that liked
pancakes and bacon for breakfast,
sometimes scrambled eggs in the
evening; a you that made me tremble
with frustration and gave a new
meaning to me, running to the
window staring at the car- a
dark blue sedan- a tear springs
up in my eye to cool this fever
that burns within; a life that
isn't; the road that turns out
of sight into eternity with you
behind the whiel; you chose the
door that opens leaving me in
cold winds that change; reality
is sharp and cuts deep. But look
at me just one more time, we have
a moment in reality.

Copyright © sunflowerstar ... [ 2002-09-09 06:36:23]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: LOOK AT ME! (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Monday, 12th May 2003 @ 09:01:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is good, well written.

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