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Raptured Dreams
Contributed by
forever_lonely
on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 02:50:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
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Enshrined within an image clear
Upon a cloud of silent fear
Your head doth rest, to slumber fast
To open doors, for shadows past
Crying tears of silver lace
Liquid shadows surround in grace
A prism kept, of light deflects
A broken mirror, through life reflects
Enchanting are these raptured dreams
Where you cry, with silent screams
Upon your breath, the rain clouds call
They shout loud thunder as tear drops fall
Whispered words consume your mind
Riddled sentences, alone, confined
Memories run from eyes so cold
Set in stone these tears so bold
Swallowed by the sound of screams
You lose your mind as it dreams
The silver tears, these words so fake
A broken mirror, you awake.
Copyright ©
forever_lonely
... [
2004-02-19 14:50:17] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by Putteragain on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 03:00:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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oh my gosh that was excellent what more can i say
michelle |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 03:21:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow!! Absolutely freakin awesome. i loved it. great write by a very talented poet.
Arden |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by kailadragon on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 03:23:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I REALLY like this poem, it's awesome...........keep up the good writing!!!
Kaila
Dragon
Seonte |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 09:01:00 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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excellent, breathtakingly beautifully written from title to last word, this poem breathes, love it, hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Thursday, 19th February 2004 @ 10:10:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The imagery so mystical, absolutely beautiful write. |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 20th February 2004 @ 06:31:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Luke, man...your rapid improvement is impressive. Your expanding vocabulary, deeper themes, and further mastery of rhythm have really catapulted you to another level entirely. It's almost intimidating to think how good you will be...and how good you already are.
Truly,
-V.S. |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by Empty_Soul on
Friday, 20th February 2004 @ 02:16:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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stop writing amazing poems before i hurt u! lol, i envy ur talent, im glad u care to share it with me :) |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lainda on
Friday, 20th February 2004 @ 05:27:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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That was an excellent poem and I have a suggestion that can make you poetry even more powerful. Try using more extreme words. For example, instead of "crying" you can use "exhausting." That way the reader can really feel the emotion you're getting across. |
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Re: Raptured Dreams
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 08:04:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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( eyes cast to the ground....crushes pen...) lol Your talent is humbling.
Pure poetry...:o)
Larry |
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