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Till I Finally Give In
Contributed by
JadedExistence
on
Tuesday, 17th February 2004 @ 10:58:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
All the pain no one notices but me
Both my secret friend and my enemy
I fake a laugh and a smile
Though my mind is stuck in exhile
Every day I fight
To keep my eyes happy and bright
The war will soon end
And I'll no longer be able to pretend
In my eyes you'll see my fear
And down my face will stream tear after tear
Using a knife to drown out my thoughts
Everything in my head twisted in knots
The blade slicing through my skin
Blood flowing till I finally give in
I'll sit on my bed and slit my wrists
Knowing that I'll never be missed
My body and bed starting to stain
My life dripping to the floor like droplets of rain
Peace flows through me as my body turns cold
And the pain in my heart releases its hold
Copyright ©
JadedExistence
... [
2004-02-17 22:58:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Till I Finally Give In
(User Rating: 1 )
by cryingonmyporch on
Tuesday, 17th February 2004 @ 11:52:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Love this poem love the way it is written. Totally awesome. Wow great suicide write.
~Amy |
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Re: Till I Finally Give In
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Wednesday, 18th February 2004 @ 01:20:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice write, lots of emotion in there. We all feel like **** at least once a day, or else we wouldn't be human. Gonna go read Press A Little Harder now. |
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Re: Till I Finally Give In
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Wednesday, 18th February 2004 @ 08:14:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| awesome write! I really enjoyed reading your poem.. I hope to hear more from you (check out my suicide writes if u like) Keep up the good work :) |
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Re: Till I Finally Give In
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 10:51:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I'm going to be blunt and say that this was friggin awesome I imagined some of it being in a heavy metal song. This is just pure emotion and yet does not sacrifice rhyme or structure. Truly a talented piece of writing.
Bobo (Joel) |
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