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Fear.Pain.Hate

Contributed by sapphire2589 on Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 02:10:56 AM in AEST
Topic: Grief



Fear.Pain.Hate
This is my life.
I can't escape it.
My mom is gone,she died
when I was 5.My father
is an alcholoic.That's
where he is right now,at
a bar.It's like a routine,
a horrible routine that I
can't stop,I wont ever
be able to stop it.I'm in
my room,trying to do my
homework.I hear the car pull
into the driveway,I slowly stand
up from my desk.I hear the front
door open,I crawl into bed.I can hear
him coming up the stairs.Fear.he opens
the door of my room,I pretend to be
asleep,hoping that he will go away.
He yanks me out of bed and slaps me
across the face.He starts hitting me.
Pain.He throws me on the floor and starts
kicking me.The pain is blinding,almost
unbearable.I can't breathe.I curl up in
a ball,something I learned when I was little,
He usaully stops when I do this.But it dosen't
work today,it only makes him madder.He hits me
until all his energy is gone.He slams my door when
he is leaving.I stay on the floor,I can't move.This
time was worse than all the other times.Hate.I hate
him,I hate everyone,I hate the world.Because no one
ever makes it stop,on one ever helps.No matter how
loud I scream or how hard I cry.Not that I have ever
told anyone,I couldnt do that,they probably wouldnt
believe me anyway.But I still blame them,they should be
able to something is wrong,but they can't.All I have
ever known is hate,I just wish all this stop.I just
want it to end.I want peace.There has to be somewhere
peaceful,I don't know where it could be though.God,help
me,he is coming back.I thought he was gone,he never hits
me more than once in a night,why is he coming back?
God,I'm scared,please,help me.He comes into my room,
he screams at me to get off the floor,I try but I can't.
He yanks me up by my hair,he is yelling in my face,I can't
understnad him.Please,just let it end.He hits me in the back of the
head withsomething heavy.I'm falling and no one is there to catch me.
I'can't feel anything anymore,everything goes black.I'm gone.Peace
Blessed peace.




Copyright © sapphire2589 ... [ 2004-02-13 02:10:56]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Fear.Pain.Hate (User Rating: 1 )
by rie on Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 02:21:58 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
is this happening to you'
let me know
if you want to talk


Re: Fear.Pain.Hate (User Rating: 1 )
by niki on Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 05:07:24 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
i am not gonna ask you a ?
that you may not be able,or want to answer
but if you want to talk or you want someone to talk to you let me know.


Re: Fear.Pain.Hate (User Rating: 1 )
by sapphire2589 on Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 05:15:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
this is NOT happening to me at all,i have a wonder family and home life.i just wanted to see what people thought of my poem since i like to write about stuff like this,from the vicimts point of view,the abused daughter,the abortioned child,the person who dosent feel loved.i hope i did ok,thanks for your concern though




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