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My Magical Room
Contributed by
waynster
on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 07:22:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
As a little boy I sat in a room, always having visions of what some would call doom. I would close my eyes and darkness would appear, being able to see many things and not be able to hear. I would see things that would wiz through my mind, looking much closer, I knew it was a sign.
Blonde hair, brown hair, black hair or red, when ever I finished having a vision I was always by my bed. This room of hopes dreams and fear, is the place to my heart that is so dear. It took me away from my troubles held deep within and fathomed me with peace which would shed me a tear.
Copyright ©
waynster
... [
2004-02-12 19:22:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Magical Room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 07:30:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice write. I see a hint of a rhyming pattern here and it makes me wonder why you didn't write it out in lines of poetry.... (just a thought here)
Jenni |
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Re: My Magical Room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Waynster on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 07:54:24 PM AEST
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Jenni,
The reason is because I know nothing about poetry. I just write things out how I see them and how I feel them. I bet it would look better if it was written a specific way like you said. Thank you. If you have any suggestions, you can e-mail me if you like. wayne_searles@msn.com
Thank you. |
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Re: My Magical Room
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aika on
Friday, 13th February 2004 @ 04:50:31 AM AEST
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Wonderful Wayne, keep writing!!!
love, aika:-) |
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Re: My Magical Room
(User Rating: 1 )
by desire on
Sunday, 29th February 2004 @ 11:57:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i love the way you wrote it...just as it is...why compromise a thought you already had in place...your first mind was right ..different is good...i was trying to picture that scene......slr |
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