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Valentine's Wish
Contributed by
Crys
on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 11:43:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
Holiday Poetry
|
As I lay me down to sleep,
A picture of you, in my heart, I keep.
Angels watch us from above,
Looking down, over our love…
A love so true,
A love so great.
A love this distance
Cannot break!
The angels cry,
But not for me.
They cry out of
Jealousy.
Of my love for you,
And yours for me.
Two hearts as one,
For Eternity!
May this Valentine’s Day
Be filled with ever more
Angel-Blessings
And Star-Bright Dreams
For Us!
I Love You
Copyright ©
Crys
... [
2004-02-12 11:43:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Valentine's Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by mercedes on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 11:46:11 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Sounds like a valentines card to me. Very good. Good luck on the contest. |
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Re: Valentine's Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lionel on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 12:03:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Its a fine poem and I'm happy for you. It's the way I feel about my wife. I would suggest, and I hope it want offend you, that you change the last four lines to something like:
Become more filled
with blessing forever
For two hearts joined
that nothing can sever.
I guess I'm too much a lover of rhyme. |
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