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thrusting sense of torture
Contributed by
fallen_eyes
on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 07:01:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I open my mouth to take my last gasp
but the air i breath is toxicating
His scent is now filling the air
As his hand falls hard straight upon my face
I try grabbing for the nearest object
To fight away the evil soul above
the one that has me held down tight
To a bed of sharp rose thorns not petals
Your thrusting me in a sense of torture
Hoping to hear my silent screams of pain
the blood that drips from within me
Coats his skin without any small trace
He licks the wound i placed upon his face
with my one last hope that I may escape
With one firm push my pain seeps through
Till my body falls beneath him still
I lie there desperate for one last chance
But my lungs wont work, I am frozen cold
Left for the voltures of the world
behold the remains of his evil soul
Copyright ©
fallen_eyes
... [
2004-02-11 19:01:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 07:11:25 PM AEST
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Hey tam this is a brilliant write really full of emotion and imagery teehee
Great write hun
Luke x |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 07:25:17 PM AEST
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Oh what a dark poem! Full of very vivid description, this poem emantes lot of pain! I really loved it! its written magnificantly! You have great talent keep it up!
Anne :D |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 08:21:46 PM AEST
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| chillingly vivid, hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 09:37:44 PM AEST
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great imagery ...emotional write
Shari |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 10:50:47 PM AEST
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Very, very nice. Can't recall you ever writing anything like this before.
"Your thrusting me in a sense of torture
Hoping to hear my silent screams of pain
the blood that drips from within me
Coats his skin without any small trace"
Yeah, I loved that one!
Truly,
-V.S. |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 06:22:49 AM AEST
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Well now I understand a lot better what rape victims and "unwilling partners" go through.
You paint a vivid picture
Normally I avoid this type of poem being well passed the age for this type of trauma (but
I do remember wat it was like as you can see from some of my poems) However I'm glad I read it.
I'd put it very near the top of the list for poemsof this type.that we get on YPDC.
bob |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 06:29:49 AM AEST
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| Wow.. feelings and emotions I have felt myself before. and wow a great poet able to put words down like this. God has a gave you a talent. and helping you . sandy |
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Re: thrusting sense of torture
(User Rating: 1 )
by L-Dee on
Thursday, 12th February 2004 @ 12:40:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Excellent poems, maybe you will enjoy reading one of mine... Well donex |
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