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Crying Alone
Contributed by
alecfernadez
on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 01:35:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
sometimes it feels like I'm unloved,
It hurts me so bad, I fall to my knees,
They say that I'm stupid
I say please look at me
Cant you see that I'm not coping,
I'm falling to my knees begging for mercy,
I'm crying out loud, and nobody listens,
I'm trying to be alive
I try to tell you, but you wont listen,
You say that everythings gonna be fine,
You dont know the truth about me,
And I dont think I could ever tell you
I'm a liar and I'm decietful,
Not because I'm mean, because I cant trust,
I dont know where I am in this world,
All I know is that my pain is my survival
I'm sitting here, trying to explain to you,
These feelings I'm feeling are hurting you,
You dont understand but I know you care,
Just listen for a second, and condem my life
These tears are for my lost childhood,
There for your torture and you misuse,
I know you think you raised me right,
But then why do I cry alone at night
Sometimes I wish I could open up,
But I cant, because I dont want to hurt you,
Sometimes I wish that I could just die,
But I dont want to, I dont wanna hurt you
I bare so much everysingle day,
This secret is killing me,
Oh why wont it go away,
Just want to forget what happened to me
But I cant because it still invades my dreams,
I dont want these images in my head,
Tried to cut them out with a knife,
Didn't work, and I'm still dead
Nobody understands me, and it hurts,
Just listen to me, I got something to say,
I'm sitting in my room, with a knife in my hand,
Rocking back and forth, I'm so scared,
I'm so frightened about what I've become
It hurts me, these tears flow down,
I'm crying alone, even as I type,
So much to get it out
Dont know if I should try
I'm so sorry for the way I am,
So sorry for what I did,
What I allowed to be done,
I'm so sorry
It hurts me, and when I cut,
I take control of my life again,
Feelings of pleasure pour out,
And I feel human again
But none of this matters,
Because I'm not telling you,
I cant because I love you,
I'm just sitting here crying alone,
I'm so stuck I dont know what to do,
I dont know how to explain
How I'm so very afraid,
How I cant stop these feelings,
How I'm losing control,
And I'm sorry I'm not so perfect,
I'm sorry I'm so flawed,
I'm sorry about what happened to me,
I'm sorry for being me,
I cant stop it anymore,
These tears wont stop comming
I'm sorry
At this point I just wanted to say
How does it feel to have a wacko for a son
Please listen to me,
I'm not gonna tell,
But please listen
I'm so scared right now,
I'm so scared
Somethings happening to me,
Something inside,
I dont know if I can hide,
Please listen to me,
I need help and I dont want to be alone
When I cry
When I die
Copyright ©
alecfernadez
... [
2004-02-04 13:35:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Crying Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Putteragain on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 01:48:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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YOU are not alone share this with them it says alot my prayers are with you (even if you dont want them)
michelle |
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Re: Crying Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by viki on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 02:23:43 PM AEST
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| I just want to say I love your poem. I know exactly what you mean. I know what it is to rock back and forth with a knife in your hand. I write alot or similar poems. Writing my poems are a great release for me, because even thouse I can not tell my family how I feel I can always write it in a poem and read it to them. They ask me how I come up with such harsh or wonderful poetry and I tell them it is because I experience it every day in my life that they sometimes do not choose to take any part in just because I am different. If you would like someone to talk to here is my email. Viki724@yahoo.com |
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Re: Crying Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by olive on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 03:28:14 PM AEST
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wow. Because of your emotions, the poem's rhythm changed-----that was very effective in showing the pain you're going through. The poem really got to me---and that doesn't happen very often.
Stay strong.
~olive |
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Re: Crying Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 03:58:25 PM AEST
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How old are you?
You're at that amazing stage of life where you can't beleive what you're becoming, and want to go back to what you used to be like. It's painful, it's tearing, it's vengeful, but time will tell you the answer.
I'm sure most elderly people have felt the same way before, but the time that bends is the time that mends, and their callous abilities will make them seem diffident. Trust me, I know. I'm 16, and I've felt it before. Hang in there.
"A world of dreams is shattered glass; Fragmented remains of nostalgic past."
~The Palatine Poet |
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