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swallow
Contributed by
poisonthewell_chic
on
Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 06:42:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I see you
watch you,
And with my eyes, take you in.
I breath you
taste you,
feel you within.
notice without noticing
you know my desires even better than I.
Controlling
without controlling,
You live inside my mind.
If you should tarnish,
stumbel or become frail
hurt in any way, and your pain would leave a trail.
Close to me, I feel you here
And if you should swallow, you would taste my tears.
My soul is like fog , without you I am hardly there,
for I am cool and breathless, without my summers air.
I feel you, can you feel me?
The closeness we behold...
so close that if you swallow
you'd take me in; your soul.
Copyright ©
poisonthewell_chic
... [
2004-02-03 18:42:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: swallow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 06:49:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This style reminds me of the style I used some of my writes before..... I really like your use of the senses in your descriptions. Makes everything so real.
Very well done.
God bless,
Ellen |
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Re: swallow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rawkergurl2003 on
Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 06:51:25 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
WOW ......only words can explain..im glad you feel this way for me raerae!!!! (even though its not REALLY about me ..but...shhhhhhh)
i mean....censored son!!! thats great writing..!!!!
:) :) :)
your bestest good buddy...
cyndi |
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Re: swallow
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 11:59:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| i really enjoyed your poem.. it seems like are very into this guy. i think you like him alot.and you really want him to like you back. thanx for sharing.. |
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