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Divine Hate
Contributed by
calista
on
Monday, 2nd February 2004 @ 09:37:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
divine hate
february 2, 2004
in her own home, his mother's home....
he pretends to be this angel
the ideal son any mother would want
of course, that is
when he's not drinking
but i can see those small signs
the clues to the puzzle in his eyes
only i can decipher
or even seem to look twice
his false face has fooled you all
and i am the only one
the only one to stand tall
and object
to a son, no more a man than
a eager boy ready to please
it is dispecable and pathetic
a grown man depending on his mother
weak, old, and trying to be happy
for the money to take him one step closer to the bar
it's gone too far
but no one will object
to this old-young boy, this reject
i suspect
lips are sealed from fear
of what, i have no guess
but it is the conclusion i think is best
it pains me to write a poem about him
he's not worth my words or effort, i detest
and yet all this time this is the first i rhyme
in the name of a grown man depending on his mom
to get him the cash to have a loner's bash
served of vodka and cigarettes
alone, he comes home
to celebrate with himself
and annoy the rest of the family inside
im looking at him
as just another
another *****-up in my life to teach me a life lesson
it's a shame every lesson i've to learn
involves going through Hell
to get to the end and ring that bell
look ma, no hands!
i can get drunk off less than a pint
can i have some money to go out tonight?
i'm forty seven but i live with you
because i left my daughter and wife
in another state, another life
but i don't look back
i don't give a damn
hey-she's just my daughter,
give her to another man
it's not important, what i left behind
the only thing i need is another bottle to help me unwind
so mom, when you're awake
i'll fake
i can be the ideal son you wanted from me
when you sleep i disobey
the house rules that you lay
how can you know when you're lost in dreams?
but the next morning when you're sobered and you look around
trying to guess what you did the night before
you're back to playing your innocent role
to make up for yesterday
you come home and shower her with flowers
even make dinner, to show her you're sorry
but sorry you aren't
because at your trip to the store
you didnt mention what you bought more
stashed in the yard is you're supply for tonight
a supply to blur your conscience and forget your life
you might as well say you're sorry for drinking
while you look her in the eye and take another swallow
what do you think?
that she doesn't know?
when you stumble through the house
cursing at the tv and picking a fight?
oh she knows, we all do
and every member of this bloodline family you see
you talk to them like a good old buddy
well, when you're not around they don't care
don't care how you are, only care that you're not there
no friends, no job, no house, no life
you left the only people that could tolerate you
just packed up
took the bus
and showed up on our doorstep
hey mom! miss me?
yea right
i hate you, you hate me
why can't you just let me be?
maybe everything wasn't so great before
but since you showed up making promises
it's gotten worse even more
you only think of yourself
not your mom or your sister
only-can i get a ride, sis?
please, grow up
i'm only 16 but i'm mature than you
i can see people and care
but not about you
you only take and take
and fake and fake
but you never give and you never live
for someone else, a good deed
yea right, unless it's for your benefit
like an extra bag of weed
it's just not fair
that you get to share
a home with me
and my brother
don't you see?
i love my grandma's
and my brother too
but there is no room for even a thought of you
i'm not even sure if you're capable of love
do you love your mother?
i have my doubts
i can't conceive what you're all about
it amazes me to meet someone who claims to be
the ideal son
but in reality
he's just biding his time
to make his move
sometimes i think he's only sticking around
the wait until his mothers buried under the ground
and it hurts me to think of how that can be
my great grandma means a lot more to me
but it seems
he's just waiting to get what he can
pretending to be the best of a man
but he's a boy still
he never grew up and never will
tattle and looks to be seen
anything to shift attention to himself
cause he can't stand to be second string
when you treat every one around you
like dirt, like *****
how can you even expect it?
for someone like me, to look and not see,
your false identity?
what is the point of defying the truth
hiding your self from those you think don't know
well i know and i won't let go
Copyright ©
calista
... [
2004-02-02 21:37:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Divine Hate
(User Rating: 1 )
by JadedExistence on
Monday, 2nd February 2004 @ 11:17:51 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Well written, it actually made me ***** off at that person.
-JadedExistence |
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Re: Divine Hate
(User Rating: 1 )
by jeanie on
Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 01:51:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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If that is what speaks about your life, then I'm first truly sorry to read all the pain and to see all the unspoken.....I admire your strenght, wish you my best!!
very you you've written about the misery of life, that makes feel bitter taste on my lips, yeah, that's life....I hope you'll have a reason to write a happy one, soon :)
huggs!
jeanie |
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Re: Divine Hate
(User Rating: 1 )
by MariaXsoccerXrock on
Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 04:16:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Amazing...you are talented. |
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