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TWO HOLERS
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 12:20:35 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
I'm sure you've heard of one wheelers,
I know there are two wheelers,
I've even seen three wheelers, in my day.
But, when you say "two-holers," it's rather risque!
Most people call them "Outhouses."
but if you want to be formal, they are known
as outdoor toilets, or hutches!
Unheated, freeze your bottom in the winter.
Overtaken by suffocating stench in the summer.
True, they aren't modern some would say........
But I can think of many advantages,
one for sure, two holes, two hide away!
No flushing, nor muffling, just one
straight drop.
No toilet lid, nor bowl to clean, just the top!
People who own outdoor hutches must be
on a regular schedule.
Preferably in the afternoon, when warmer,
restricting food like the apple.
Whitewashed from outside to the inside.
Kept quite clean, except for spiders,
some splatters, splashes, and odors!
Saves lot of money on the toilet paper.
The new Sears catalog absorbs nicely
for the bladder.
Fleeced corn cobs remove hemorrhoids,
slicker than a whistle!
"Two-holers" save the waiting shuffle,
and long line dribble!
I fully expect the "two-holers" to return
With water shortages increasing,
the modern facilities, we'll have to unlearn.
People ouf for their Sunday drives will stare.
and say, "Oh look, a "two-holer" have they"
Most only have "one-holers," I dare say!
Having a "two-holer," brings presitigious puree!
Even in 2004, it's a symbolic display!
Bring back the beauteous outhouse once again!
Those flushing moderns make us soft,
and spoil men!
Created by
Cheri Cam LeBren
January 2004
"Bring back the old,
flush out the new!"
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2004-01-27 00:20:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: TWO HOLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 12:33:00 AM AEST
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| LOL I dont know if I can handle that or not maybe for a weekend or something but not everyday! Cute poem! Christina |
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Re: TWO HOLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 01:01:23 AM AEST
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| I don't know what to comment.....:o) but I can smile venkat |
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Re: TWO HOLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 01:30:20 AM AEST
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ROFLMAO!!!!! Oh Im laughing so hard Im crying!! I will have to send you a poem that my dad wrote about burning down the ol out house how funny I was thinking of that today and then I saw this!! I love it!!
michelle |
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Re: TWO HOLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 04:36:03 PM AEST
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Reminded me of my grandmas out house
Had newspaper as well to use after going to the toilet used it as a child no choice
Horrible never liked going to the out house
Now I know given a choice the more modern the better lol
Great poem
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: TWO HOLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by norm on
Tuesday, 27th January 2004 @ 07:07:18 PM AEST
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Critters Lady, Funny as all getout
-----------------------------------------------
You believe a Porta-Potty
At a fair will make you dotty,
Made of plastic..monster loos,
really for the likes of yous.
City boy, I claim to be
Know not fancy toiletry,
Can't teach old dog such new tricks,
Who's the one that splinters picks
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Re: TWO HOLERS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Friday, 20th February 2004 @ 11:34:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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*Eyes go wide*
No thanks... I think I'll pass.... Nice write... Kinda scary this time though. |
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