A studious maid sat reading on a bench

And was addressed by an old crone in French:

“Ma chere! - une bierre!“,- that is: “please buy me beer,-

I’m thirsty and I have no dough my dear!”.



The maid rose up, kind-hearted, with good cheer

To buy across the street a can of beer.

But the old crone was crafty, shrewd and smart

And spurned a beer from Gerard Chouxcroute’s Mart.

She knew a spot, called “Moose Hall” was quite near,

And there, she said, they served all night fresh beer.



Deft persuasion took the upper hand,-

And crone and maid now to this Moose Hall went.

Soft music - and a Moose on every wall.

Looked down upon the patrons of the hall.

.But it turned out the crone’s thirst was immense

What shock and fear to cover the expense;



The maiden clutched her thinning porte-monnaie,

And felt she had been played a “tour mauvais”

(a scam) - and saw at once in deep distress

The merry crone would drink her penny less;

Four cents, - its hard to be convivial

With this amount in down-town Montreal.

Four pennies, (quatre sous) what slender purse!

No money to ride home - what could be worse?



Enraged, and broke, she squashed an empty can,

When from a chair arose a quiet man-

Handsome he was, - true knight- though without lance,

He asked the unhappy maiden for a dance.

The crone kept ordering beer for all its worth

And was the happiest beldam on this earth.



Maid and knight danced, but they could see and hear

The crone besieging waiters for more beer.

Beneath the table she now slowly sank

But clutched her glass yet to her breast and drank,-

Then she knocked over several sandwich trays;-

(We know the Lord works in mysterious ways).

Coincidences happen, - in a spell,- -

Just two months later rang a wedding bell.



Be such event now called “Fortuity”-,

Or happenstance,-- whatever it may be,--

If you need spouses friends then volunteer

To take a thirsty beldam out for beer.



copyright Elizabeth Dandy