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TICK A TEENTH
Contributed by
Manda2
on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 05:45:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
His mother say's she's not taking it anymore,
and she's had enough of constant knocking on the door,
so he gets another place in another street,
little white fence and the grass all neat.
Now he's a business man in a real smart suit,
No-one's quite clear where he gets his loot.
And the neighbours see he's not short of a mate,
They come from miles around, from every estate.
They all sit in the kitchen and he makes them some tea,
exchanging what they've already been and what they want to be,
rich is on the agenda but for now they'll have a smoke,
and place their orders for fun and a couple of grams of coke.
More interuption by another knock on the door,
they're always very careful incase it's the law
but the poor old woman's only here for the gear,
if he'll tick her a teenth she'll think he's a dear.
So he lets her in and shows his big wide grin,
saying no to your mother must be the biggest sin.
For all concerned in the kitchen on this day,
life can tick on by forever and stay this way.
Copyright ©
Manda2
... [
2004-01-21 17:45:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: TICK A TEENTH
(User Rating: 1 )
by AceStar on
Wednesday, 4th February 2004 @ 10:52:56 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| That was pretty cool actually. It's got a certain sence of politness in something that dosen't seam polite at all. perhaps i'm reading it incorrectly but drugs are what kind of turned me off to the poem. overall pretty good. Might want to try iamic pantamater next time though |
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Re: TICK A TEENTH
(User Rating: 1 )
by Candice on
Sunday, 12th February 2006 @ 09:14:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow I knew very well that you were a talented writer but this poem is my favourite by far!
First of all there was not one hitch in the flow of the poem.
Secondly you took a contraversual subject and gave it a charming charictor.
So he let's her in, and shows his big wide grin,
Saying no to your mother must be the biggest sin.
That part was my favourite.
A wonderfull display of true talent! Well done!x |
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