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The Raven's Cry
Contributed by
thegurl
on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 06:37:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Spikes of rebel’s
Outcast by many
Love seems few
Relive a childhood
Full of horror
Recite a curse
Just like that
Escaped have the demons
They now roam free
Excite those left pure
Their brains inactive
Blood begins to curdle
Steam starts to rise
Words of deep encouragement
Flow out of my eyes
The end is almost here now
The edge can be seen
All that’s left will deny us
The future melts to dew
The storm only beginning
Effects seem to be clear
Causes remain lost
Symptom unknown
Noon strikes the clock
The frogs unleashed
A plague to the good one
A treat to the rest
To the one’s who believed
In power of spells
Send the snakes
Writhing amongst our feet
Winding up our legs
Cast out the spiders
Six legs and all
Beginning to crawl
The length of my arm
By Midnight it’s time
The damned released
Our fury unsheathed
Don’t try to hide
No use in running
Your to scared too
But it doesn’t matter
It’s over, Suck it up
Prepare to die
To the devil’s you cry
To the witches who fly
Goblins and Ghouls
Though the terms
Realize the truth
It’s over for all
Time for rebirth
Into the world of evil
Is where the earth lays
Though the terms
Seem to be simple
Ghouls and Demons
Witches and Goblins
Devils are true
Thought of as man
But killing the rest
One by one.
-TheGurl
Copyright ©
thegurl
... [
2004-01-19 18:37:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Raven's Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArdRi79 on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 07:29:06 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
your imagery is striking but it is long you could try breaking it into stanzas or paragraphs verses
"Cast out the spiders
Six legs and all
Beginning to crawl
The length of my arm"
because this rhymed and the rest didnt it had a really big impact, it reminded me of the first crow movie.. |
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Re: The Raven's Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 07:44:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I found this to be a excellent write, and i didnt find it too long. Dont worry i have read longer. Keep up the good work. |
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Re: The Raven's Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 12:38:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
very very good write. i loved the imagery!!!
i wouldn't want to live in a world like that for sure, but its perfect for the movies!!
very good
MissTea |
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