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free as an eagle
Contributed by
remi
on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 10:16:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
FREE AS A EAGLE
Nov 27, 03
7:09 pm
If I leave tomorrow will u even remember me or even feel sad well I have to start travling now their to many place I got to be.
If I disapear In the middle of the day would u even be worry, would u even try to find me or would u try to find me only to try to hurt me again
Well I'm free as a eagle now I must be going now their things I got to do If I stay here things will be bad, their some place i got to see
Their some dreams I got to accomplish
Their some things I have to fullfill
Their someone out their for me to love
Cause I'm free as eagle now, their some mountian I have to climb
Their some ocean I have to swim
If I get up leave in the middle of the nite would u loose sleep over me
Would even bother to get out of bed would u even try to search for me or would you be to blind by his so called sucess would u tell people u only mother one
If I leave tomorrow would u even keep my pictures on the wall, would u throw everything away that remind yalll of me
If I leave today would u even mention my name In a room cause I'm free as a eagle now
If I leave rite this minute would u even shed a tear well I guess I would fine out on that October day cause I'm free as a eagle now I got some road I got to drive I got some bridge I have to cross
Cause I'm free as a eagle now, on a summer day I will be flying out that window
Cause I'm free as a eagle now.
Would u even care or notice
Remy Maskantinio
Copyright ©
remi
... [
2004-01-19 10:16:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: free as an eagle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 11:33:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I love the ideas and thoughts behind this one. It's very beautiful. The style of the lines makes me think of a letter that you would send to "him".
I have a quick suggestion about the spacing. Just saying there are other places that a poem like this could go. You know? (Absolutely not critisizing, just looking in a different direction, that's all....you know what I'm saying.....)
If I leave right this minute
would u even shed a tear?
Well I guess I would find out
on that October day
Cause I'm free as an eagle now.
I got some road I got to drive,
I got some bridge I have to cross.
Just an idea..... if you'd like to think in that direction. But you know, I like the idea you've gone in a bit more...... It's less "poem-wrapped-in-a-package"....... it's like it's right out of a letter you'd send to him. It feels so real, you know?
That's a lot of rambling =)
Maybe I should be quiet now lol =)
In any case, I enjoyed reading this one. Very nice =)
God bless,
Ellen |
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