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May I......?
Contributed by
whisper-of-night
on
Saturday, 17th January 2004 @ 09:06:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
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May I
Transform the cloud
Into a cart,
And pinch the brightest star
To lead the shining way,
As the wings of doves rise,
Carry this crimson dream
To your side,
Gently,
Ever so gently,
I will wrap my thoughts,
Around your waist...
Together,
We'll vanish
Among the deep blue,
Dancing between stars
And the envious Moon,
As the swift morning breeze blows,
I'll return with a smile,
Watching you quietly
Sleeping in my arms......
Copyright ©
whisper-of-night
... [
2004-01-17 21:06:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Saturday, 17th January 2004 @ 09:17:23 PM AEST
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| sweet, and very whimsical. It made me smile :) |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mouth on
Saturday, 17th January 2004 @ 09:31:10 PM AEST
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Nice word usage and good descriptions.Good job
Sarah |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Saturday, 17th January 2004 @ 09:50:11 PM AEST
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| wish I were that girl.... |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Suz on
Saturday, 17th January 2004 @ 09:57:06 PM AEST
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| I really like that. I wish I could write like you.. |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 17th January 2004 @ 11:48:08 PM AEST
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Wwooooo. Not only gives my face a smile but my heart smiles too.
Speaking personnaly, this could melt any women into your arms.
Definently makes a girl smile from head to toe.
Thanks for sharing.
Awesomly precious.
huggs, luv,
emy |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 12:32:23 AM AEST
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Great imagery!! I loved this...we both seem to want to be among the clouds tonight....I wrote one called "Soaring High" tonight....
Jenni |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th January 2004 @ 01:51:20 AM AEST
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| i remember now the days i felt like that... |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 12:05:19 PM AEST
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Dang!
*speechless silence* lol =)
Very well done. |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Thursday, 22nd January 2004 @ 04:22:01 PM AEST
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Aww very sweet and romantic!! Hmm must be a special person to you! WoW!! Beautiful! I loved this poem!! Great write!! I did smile when i read it!
Anne :D |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissLee on
Thursday, 22nd January 2004 @ 05:53:41 PM AEST
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| Very nice hun, I enjoyed it immensley! |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th January 2004 @ 08:08:34 AM AEST
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| Good Write ;) Your very talented with your words... x |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bizzy on
Saturday, 24th January 2004 @ 07:43:21 PM AEST
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| Whisper of Night, you have such romantic thoughts! This was well written. You use English well. I wish I could speak another language and do as well as you do. Keep the poems coming. Grandma Bizzy |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 24th January 2004 @ 09:56:20 PM AEST
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| Excellent job! You have a very poetic style, about twice as good as most! |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by hawaii06 on
Monday, 26th January 2004 @ 09:40:50 PM AEST
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Very good....I love this poem...
Jamie |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Night_Child on
Tuesday, 3rd February 2004 @ 12:11:10 PM AEST
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| I agree with a_bear I wish I was that girl too :p |
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chilibear on
Tuesday, 23rd March 2004 @ 05:57:16 PM AEST
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Again, wow! This poem has so much symbolism, its seems... I might be wrong.... But still, i love it
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Re: May I......?
(User Rating: 1 )
by monkey on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 07:52:04 PM AEST
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My Dearest Mr. Baboon ~
Long, long time no talk! I miss you! I was just thinking about you and decided to read a few of your poems...You really are a wonderful poem writer. I wish I could be such a beautiful writer like you. I loved this poem! A thought or a poem...In a way, if you think about it right...thoughts are poems...anything can be. But I'm sure you already knew that! You should try to get some of your work published! Its wonderful! Anyways, I must continue reading your poems! Hope you talk to you soon! Miss you! Bye!
love ya alwayz ~
* missay monkay * |
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