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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	10-November 16:02:51 AEST

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The Fall

Contributed by Elf on Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 04:49:15 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

When we met,
I put up a front,
Threw up my walls,
Began the Hunt.

The eternal games
that lovers play,
made more intense
by every day.

When first we met,
I did not trust.
Then slow, but sure,
my walls did bust.

I had not
meant to fall
so deep in love.
Or at all.

But fall I did.
Till I could fall no more.
Into a love only seen
in forgotten lore.

My passion for you,
though tested by flame
Could never be quenched,
would never be tame.

And you love for me,
as I see it true.
Shining in your beautiful eyes,
So crystal blue.

Copyright © Elf ... [ 2004-01-15 16:49:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Fall (User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 05:02:28 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

don't crash land. (advice from someone without a parachute LOL) As for the poem it was very clear, like crystal...liked it a lot. The last stanza I would drop out or substitute the word beautiful...the line somehow seems clumsy or long.
And your love for me
as I see it true.
Shining in your eyes,
So crystal blue.
Pardon me for messing about with your poem, but I just think it looks and sounds better...thats just me...

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