|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
The Fall
Contributed by
Elf
on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 04:49:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
When we met,
I put up a front,
Threw up my walls,
Began the Hunt.
The eternal games
that lovers play,
made more intense
by every day.
When first we met,
I did not trust.
Then slow, but sure,
my walls did bust.
I had not
meant to fall
so deep in love.
Or at all.
But fall I did.
Till I could fall no more.
Into a love only seen
in forgotten lore.
My passion for you,
though tested by flame
Could never be quenched,
would never be tame.
And you love for me,
as I see it true.
Shining in your beautiful eyes,
So crystal blue.
Copyright ©
Elf
... [
2004-01-15 16:49:15] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: The Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by a_bear on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 05:02:28 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
don't crash land. (advice from someone without a parachute LOL) As for the poem it was very clear, like crystal...liked it a lot. The last stanza I would drop out or substitute the word beautiful...the line somehow seems clumsy or long.
And your love for me
as I see it true.
Shining in your eyes,
So crystal blue.
Pardon me for messing about with your poem, but I just think it looks and sounds better...thats just me... |
|
|
|