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Evil World
Contributed by
Empty_Soul
on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 08:38:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Reveling in my hidden pain
for this world's undying distain
for my life is not worth living
and my pain is still ungiving
why does this world torment me so
I feel i must soon have to go
so please help out with my plight
and stop this worlds eternal fight
for it seems determined to end me
but I am not satisfied to let this be
its evil and darkness must come undone
if I am truely to become
so once more for help I cry
to let this darkness pass me by
Thanks to Forever_Lonely for his help on a bit of this one!
Copyright ©
Empty_Soul
... [
2004-01-14 20:38:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 08:46:07 PM AEST
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Gosh I'm stunned! This one is one of the best! Very good writing! Very dark and bitter but also realistic! Keep on writing never give up!
Anne xxx |
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 08:46:30 PM AEST
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your more than welcome had a great base to work from and its only one line lol
i really enjoyed reading this shows you rue talent and how you feel, which is sometimes hard to show in a poem
keep it up, head and writes(hehe)
Luke
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrucifiedAndLeft2Die on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 09:03:30 PM AEST
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| This was a great poem, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. |
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by AliB on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 06:03:40 AM AEST
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It's funny how we write such good poetry when our feelings are so strong. You have a gift keep writing and don't give in to those feelings just write about them.
Ali xx |
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallen_eyes on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 09:42:24 AM AEST
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| Kess says good use of words, she was rather impressed. xx |
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Friday, 16th January 2004 @ 04:02:59 AM AEST
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I " bumped into" your comment on comments in your reply to a_bear so I'm making a point of commenting here.
by "World "I presume you mean the human beings in/on it.......
This story loses something in that it needs a regional acent to bring it to life.... but here goes anyway.
A Welsh villager takes the last seat in a crowded train compartment in a London terminus.
The train starts and all the way to Reading(40 miles) nobody speaks. At Reading two
get out. For the next 50 miles one or two remarks are passed about the weather before the next stop (which is the last in England after which, the train passes under the river Severn into Wales) Four more alight leaving only two heading for Wales.
"Going far?" one enquires
"Changing at Cardiff" the other replies.
"Going up the Valleys?
"Pontypridd"
"I got an Aunt lives in Pontypridd.........
To cut a long story short by the time they get to Cardiff they have established that they are distant cousins.....
The point being that the further you get from the crowded cities and the nearer you get to your small village the more friendly your fellow human beings become.
bob
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Tuesday, 20th January 2004 @ 05:08:29 PM AEST
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this is amazing...
x_x_x |
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Re: Evil World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Wednesday, 28th January 2004 @ 10:17:23 AM AEST
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I don't care what a_bear has to say myself. She doesn't comment either. My response to wrybod.
'so please help out with my plight
and stop this worlds eternal fight
for it seems determined to end me'
I loved those lines. I like how they worked together. Very nicely written. A co-op write. Very nice. Good job man. |
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