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Perfection
Contributed by
bychristimsaved
on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 08:31:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChristianPoetry
|
Thes justifications of right and wrong
Engrossed in falseness
Deprived of any value
No reason to believe
This perfection distinguishes right and wrong
Engrossed in decisiveness
Deprived of not a single thing
No reason to doubt
This earth seems to proceed in its ways
Filled with darkness
Flooding with pain
No signs of surrender
This perfection will continue its ways
Filled with love
Flooding with grace
No chance of surrender
This mighty king rules justifications and Earth
No existing faults
Nothing but perfection
Copyright ©
bychristimsaved
... [
2004-01-14 20:31:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 08:55:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like the somewhat bulleted structure of this poem, and it's non-linear structure. When I finished reading the poem though, I felt confused as to the poem's meaning--It didn't leave me with a feeling. Essentially, the poem seems to lead me in a direction that doesn't take me to a destination.
I really like the style of this poem, I just don't understand the subtance. |
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Re: Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrucifiedAndLeft2Die on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 09:08:26 PM AEST
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And let Gods love fill every dark corner until all can feel it...
What can I say, I loved your poem... |
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Re: Perfection
(User Rating: 1 )
by dudleysgirl on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 09:11:34 PM AEST
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Another chance for me to agree with someone. In this case, I have to agree with autumn above. My feeling is, this is about God and his love and majesty, versus the way the world and people are now; but I can't be sure. You've left me sort of hanging with my feet over the edge and not sure whether I should jump or not. The structure is good. I too like the jagged feel, the bullet effect. But take it further, clean it up. Be more concise, especially with your ending. With a little rework, could be fantastic. Nice effort. Keep it up.
Judy |
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