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Not Sure
Contributed by
CountryGirl
on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 04:11:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
She goes running up the stairs
Laughter floating behind her.
She stops, listens, oh no.
Here he comes, laughing just as hard.
No where to go
She turns and faces him.
She knows what is coming.
He lunges, she side steps and laughs harder.
But she knows he will get her.
And he does.
First a kiss, then a smile.
Oh no look out, he tickles her.
She squirms but there is no escape.
At least not until they are both out of breath
And laughing hard.
Copyright ©
CountryGirl
... [
2004-01-13 16:11:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Not Sure
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 04:13:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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fun loving witty write I enjoyed this.
michelle |
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Re: Not Sure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 04:51:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree. It was a great write, and happy too. I really liked the first two lines, especially--"laughter floating behind her". Nice verb for that one. I've always considered poetry a written snapshot of and emotion, story, or whatever, and this is a great example. The moment when he kissed her in the poem was the climax of the story in there. And such a nice story too.... all around I really enjoyed this one =)
God bless,
Ellen |
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Re: Not Sure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 04:02:46 PM AEST
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Ohh nice poem!! It cheers you up! Very good and so sweet :D!! I love it!!
Anne :D:D |
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Re: Not Sure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Saturday, 24th January 2004 @ 08:09:01 PM AEST
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| Damn good. I liked this one alot. I can't wait to read more. |
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Re: Not Sure
(User Rating: 1 )
by twinkletoes on
Wednesday, 3rd March 2004 @ 08:33:32 PM AEST
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worked for me.
Twinkletoes! |
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Re: Not Sure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 07:57:08 AM AEST
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Now this I like. A great perspective on a happy memory, which everyone shares, surely? I know I do - and think its great that you've brought it forth with such presence.
Good work. |
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