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Undeserving
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 06:00:10 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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There are no angels, no glowing choir will sing
For a self loathing soul, truly less than nothing
Why hold a funeral when no faces will show
Can't be gone if there's nothing to let go
No Heaven nor Hell will I ever see
Suicide is far too good for me
I haven't the strength to be set free
My ultimate curse is eternity
I don't deserve to fatally bleed
Or hold in my arms the love that I need
I don't deserve the barrel, or even the spark
Nor even the bullet to find it's mark
I don't deserve a chance at a new start
Or even a fraction of the love in my heart
I don't deserve the effort that you gave
Or a single shovel of dirt on my grave
Just watch me fade, a melancholy sunset
Try not to care or harbor any regret
Just let me fade, and please realize
I'll never deserve the tears in your eyes
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-01-12 06:00:10] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by forever_lonely on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 06:28:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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V.s
Now this is why i love poetry!!
I love your style, what you write about and the fact that you always comment on my poems hehe
'No Heaven nor Hell will I ever see
Suicide is far too good for me
I haven't the strength to be set free
My ultimate curse is eternity' absolutely brilliant
Its people like you V.S that are inspirational to other and exceed themselves with every poem and this is a prime example
truely a masterpeice of language
Luke |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 06:36:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Welldone V.S..I always enjoy your style and the beaty of your expression..regarding the subject, I love to remain silent..venkat |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinlimbo on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 06:37:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I must agree, it is indeed a masterpiece. Excellent piece of work my friend, very emotional. |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by 13Hopes on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 06:50:10 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I think your poem is sensational...
Cheers
#13 |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by Necromant on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 07:20:12 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow! this one is really fabulous! God! You are very talented! This poem is very deep! WoW! Great Amazing writing!! Write more!!!
Anne :D |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by afraid_of_fear on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 10:26:47 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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oh wow, this is stunning, really beautiful.. but i am sure that you are worth so much more.. you have a wonderous talent that i hope you can hold on to..
x_x_x |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 01:25:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Although beautiful, deeply sad. You are deserving, in every and all ways that are good. You brought tears to my eyes.
Kie |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by lovingcritters on
Tuesday, 13th January 2004 @ 01:08:42 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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My dear friend VS
I just created a poem called "Never an Empty Heart....please go read it, and see if you can relate...it's so hard to go on, and yet, you must....but a heart that's held love, will never
empty, VS....it will hold love again...i wish I could help you on your journey. No one could help me either....so I leave you to your rugged course....never say you don't deserve...you do deserve the very best....and this I know!
Warm Hugs & more warm hugs with love
lovingcritters
ConSue
This is a splendid write...very sad, and lamenting, but written just right! |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eve on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 02:31:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Yes you will. And don't forget that.
Heart-wrenching poem. But it's beautiful.
Keep writing,
-Eve. |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cobalt on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 05:52:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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V.S. I liked this. I like the style of the writing. Very good. |
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Re: Undeserving
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 04:59:11 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'd made a point, until now of not commenting on suicide poetry, but I feel I must make an exception here, what with recent conversations and the crushingly barbaric destitution of this write.
Perhaps some people are born into sadness, to know how to fully appreciate the sunbeams of happiness that break through their cloud. Or perhaps sadness, in itself is an delusion, only burgeoned when no-one is there to willingly shoulder its burdon. Or perhaps neither.
A compelling vision, V.S. I hate to say it, but it seems that your greatest achievements are borne from sadness and melancholia. Someday you will best them in my eyes with a greater write in hope of defeating this trend. |
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