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Hell
Contributed by
Necromant
on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 06:01:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Gliding down the hill my master beckons for me,
I crawl towards him with hidden fear I don’t want him to see,
He touches my face and I shiver with trepidation,
This was the price for my sins, eternal damnation,
I gaze up into his cold unresponsive eyes,
This night, he says, I shall pay for my lies,
I break eye contact feeling his hands moving up to my chest,
A sense of dread washes over me as he touches my breast,
A sob escapes my lips, giving him satisfaction,
My clothes lay abandoned on the floor as he demands the audience’s attention,
This, he says, is for the damage you’ve done,
A whip slashes my skin, I cry out looking at the dawning sun,
Awareness like never before rushes to me as I look down at my bare feet,
How could I last this long, living in this heat?,
Every sinful caress is taking part of my dignity,
Now I’m falling in the pit of passion, giving away my humanity,
His wicked touch is like a raging fire,
Maybe I’ll stay here and give in to my desire.
Copyright ©
Necromant
... [
2004-01-08 18:01:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 06:06:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Whoa, vivid. And dee-lightfully dark.
Nicely done, I must say.
--Nora |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 03:42:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A real hell for a girl..depicted well..
venkat |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Empty_Soul on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 10:15:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| brilliant write once again! really great imagery used as you always do and dark of course =) |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 10:22:35 AM AEST
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| Thanks for your comments!! I'm glad you think this one is dark. I've been trying to write something dark for a long time. I'm currently trying to write something this type but it's still in progress. Thanks again! ;) |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th January 2004 @ 08:00:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow, this is incredible... i love how you've managed to make this rhyme and at the same time telling a beautifully dark story.. brilliant...
afraid_of_fear
x_x_x |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 9th May 2004 @ 10:06:19 PM AEST
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| wow, ann, an excellent write, went to where i wasnt expecting and was a pleasant surprize:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 11:01:05 PM AEST
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| brilliant write. written very well. ::still stunned:: |
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Re: Hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternalNight4x on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 11:06:00 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| a very creative and interesting write...I very much enjoyed it, I liked your choice of words they were very descriptive...well great write keep posting |
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