|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Wind-Up Toy
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 01:50:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
why, hello
would you be interested in purchasing anything today?
here we have
a wind-up toy
look at that sweet smile
painstakingly painted on her
--I mean, on its--
plastic face
turn the switch on its back
--that little catch, see, here
beside the price tag--
and it moves!
amazing, huh?
if you wind it up properly
it even laughs
wait, my apologies--
don't choose this one
I think it's broken
its spring is slowly uncoiling
although, of course,
it still moves and laughs
when it's supposed to
automatic, see.
but surely you want
another one . . .
oh?
what's that you ask?
"how must it feel
to have the spring that propels you
slowly uncoil?"
ohhh, hahahahaha
my dear, silly customer
it's just a wind-up toy.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-01-08 13:50:15] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by MissTea on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 03:08:21 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow! theres such meaning in that. Like a friend of mine often say, " My smile button is broken", well i hope my coil lasts forever as well as my smile.
brilliant poem, BRILLIANT
MissTea |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by Wrybod on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 08:37:21 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Takes me back to when I was a child.I never liked mechanical dolls particularly those faiground figures that rolled around laughing.
Novel subject nice touch
bob |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 09:10:56 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
How very creative, How original, How well written and how well it fits.
It seems even our Drs.,or least mine...treat us as the wind-up kind...but when they hold out their hand.....its not for spam...they want big bucks, but is there really loving care behind their fare?
I know the feeling Nora...how well you wrote this poem...I thought it was brilliantly created too!
lovingcritters
ConSue |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 06:44:58 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow.. *picks lower jaw up off of floor*
Unrelenting creativity, so much talent. It made me take a new look at common objects, and find meaning in the simplest of things. Nora, your ability as a writer is solid gold.
Truly,
-Dan |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cobalt on
Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 12:58:14 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hahahaha. I loved it. I think I must go ask a salesperson something like that. Lol. I think it would be ammusing. |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by ArdRi79 on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 04:23:17 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is an incredible poem well written u should frame this thing or send it to publishers, it is insightfull and poetic while still keeping a hard hitting edge that strikes a chord in the common heart,
I feel like an exec in a suit ick... |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eve on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 03:54:23 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
MakesmewanttoPUNCHthatsalesperson.
Which proves how much I take this to heart.
This is wonderful. Simple, clean, and the point hits you like a brick wall. That's an envied talent that's very rare; and you definately have it.
Keep writing,
-Eve. |
|
|
Re: Wind-Up Toy
(User Rating: 1 ) by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:39:41 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Super creative and orginal. Nice.
Spazzo |
|
|
|