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Wind-Up Toy

Contributed by ShadowDaughter on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 01:50:15 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



why, hello
would you be interested in purchasing anything today?

here we have
a wind-up toy

look at that sweet smile
painstakingly painted on her
--I mean, on its--
plastic face

turn the switch on its back
--that little catch, see, here
beside the price tag--
and it moves!

amazing, huh?

if you wind it up properly
it even laughs

wait, my apologies--
don't choose this one
I think it's broken
its spring is slowly uncoiling

although, of course,
it still moves and laughs
when it's supposed to
automatic, see.

but surely you want
another one . . .

oh?
what's that you ask?
"how must it feel
to have the spring that propels you
slowly uncoil?"

ohhh, hahahahaha
my dear, silly customer

it's just a wind-up toy.




Copyright © ShadowDaughter ... [ 2004-01-08 13:50:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by MissTea on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 03:08:21 PM AEST
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wow! theres such meaning in that. Like a friend of mine often say, " My smile button is broken", well i hope my coil lasts forever as well as my smile.
brilliant poem, BRILLIANT

MissTea


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 08:37:21 PM AEST
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Takes me back to when I was a child.I never liked mechanical dolls particularly those faiground figures that rolled around laughing.

Novel subject nice touch

bob


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 09:10:56 PM AEST
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How very creative, How original, How well written and how well it fits.
It seems even our Drs.,or least mine...treat us as the wind-up kind...but when they hold out their hand.....its not for spam...they want big bucks, but is there really loving care behind their fare?
I know the feeling Nora...how well you wrote this poem...I thought it was brilliantly created too!
lovingcritters
ConSue


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 06:44:58 AM AEST
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wow.. *picks lower jaw up off of floor*

Unrelenting creativity, so much talent. It made me take a new look at common objects, and find meaning in the simplest of things. Nora, your ability as a writer is solid gold.

Truly,
-Dan


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on Monday, 12th January 2004 @ 12:58:14 PM AEST
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Hahahaha. I loved it. I think I must go ask a salesperson something like that. Lol. I think it would be ammusing.


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by ArdRi79 on Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 04:23:17 AM AEST
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this is an incredible poem well written u should frame this thing or send it to publishers, it is insightfull and poetic while still keeping a hard hitting edge that strikes a chord in the common heart,

I feel like an exec in a suit ick...


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 03:54:23 PM AEST
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MakesmewanttoPUNCHthatsalesperson.
Which proves how much I take this to heart.

This is wonderful. Simple, clean, and the point hits you like a brick wall. That's an envied talent that's very rare; and you definately have it.

Keep writing,
-Eve.


Re: Wind-Up Toy (User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 10:39:41 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Super creative and orginal. Nice.

Spazzo




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