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mirror
Contributed by
stitches
on
Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 05:04:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
the moon falls
shattering
small fragmants
pierce my skin
my heart
pecks holes
through my ribs
as i bathe
(it's a sin)
in my own
impure blood
smearing
the most beautiful picture
of a death
long overdue
red
almost black
paints the ground
about me
given tme
oddities grow
a rose that's seared
by dragon's breath
somehow burning
a constant death
the great eye
that sees all i've failed you
winks at me
in childish mirth
a tree whose roots
have twisted to the sky
leaves it's leaves to squirm discomfort
not meant for dry packed earth
oil seeps here
wetting
unlidded eyes
on stalks as long as
nothing
forever staring
an accusation?
a disfigured child
two mouths for eyes
trying to cry
so pathetic
when all it can do
is stream these useless words
somehow
in thier own right
just as beautiful
as she'll never be
dusty reflections
in guilt framed mirrors
ache to trap us
forever in their hungry glass
Copyright ©
stitches
... [
2004-01-06 17:04:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: mirror
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 05:33:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow! i have to read this a few more times to understand it... there is so much there! VERY good.... very very good... thanx again.
luv,
myrts |
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Re: mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Wednesday, 7th January 2004 @ 05:17:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Stitches this was really good. It twisted me even further inside. I love how you write most of the time. So beautifuly dark. |
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Re: mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cancer on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 12:36:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
i loved the whole thing, but i esp liked the second stanza/section/chunk/whatever. everything from "given time" to "as she'll never be" was just great. kinda reminds me of #12 on Dark Lotus for some reason.
and now, the traditional:
great write, keep it up.
51 |
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Re: mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 04:07:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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myrts was write, there is loads in this, thats why i love it i think. you have a way about twisting ur words and meanings which i love, its great.
charlotte x_x_x |
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Re: mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 19th January 2004 @ 05:23:32 PM AEST
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the line structure (or lack thereof) was amazing. The whole thing was great and the imagery was bloody brilliant.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by stitches on
Wednesday, 21st January 2004 @ 08:22:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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bobo i write with tympanics
line structures mean nothing
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