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An Empty House
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Sunday, 4th January 2004 @ 06:43:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
A barren street with many leafless trees
Always inhabited by a cold, painful breeze
Like clockwork falls the continual snow
A pulsing snowglobe in endless flow
Down at the end of the weathered road
Where the cracked sidewalk stopped and the concrete bowed
Reaching the extreme of the weathered road
I met the mansion, the crumbling abode
Across the facade the erosion did climb
Truly this is one that was forgotten by time
As a spectre with no numbers on the mailbox
The landscape a wasteland of dust and rocks
Layers of dirt upon the windows encrusted
The door is unlocked, the hinges are rusted
The front steps and porch made of planks decaying
A lonely stoop slowly degenerating
This somehow feels familiar, how do I compare
It's like coming home, except nobody's there
Passing through the threshold, cobwebs are scattered
Everything's broken, torn asunder and tattered
This hovel of rotten and fallen beams
I know i've seen it in my nightmares and dreams
Askew on the walls hang paintings in pairs
Still I am drawn to the spiralling stairs
Through the hallway where the shadows loom
At last I reach the master bedroom
Sitting all alone in a rocking chair
Thinking silently awaited the nightmare
Inches of dust blanket books on the shelf
These stories feel close, I ask are they about myself
I go toward the window, toward the mess it had become
Trying to recall this as the window I threw myself from
One last time I look out at that street
At all the things I never will meet
Yet, of every place my body will roam
This is the one that felt most like home
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-01-04 06:43:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Sunday, 4th January 2004 @ 07:07:04 AM AEST
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Another amazing poem from you v.s
the imagery in this is unspeakable, your talent bloomed with this, i love the way you use the image of the house
keep up the amazing work cause ive not seen much better than this one
All the best
Forever_lonely - Luke |
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Sunday, 4th January 2004 @ 10:28:03 AM AEST
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Wow. This may well be in your top five or so. Nice job, as always. I love the image I'm getting and the lilt of the rhyme. Skillful indeed.
frost and flame,
Nora |
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 4th January 2004 @ 02:34:37 PM AEST
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What to say about this one. Awesome seems to simple to desribe it. As I read it, it was like reading a story, seeing it unfold, viewing the images from anothers mind. This really is a great poem that could be read over and over and enjoyed even more.
Kie |
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Monday, 5th January 2004 @ 01:57:59 AM AEST
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Dear VS
I see many different meanings in this poem of yours.
It could mean your life with all its efforts!
I've read several times, so it could mean so many different things to you but also your readers too!
Fine poetry, I enjoyed the read very much!
The one poem of yours, that I could understand, and even relate to.
Warm Poetic Love
ConSue
This one is so much better than your last! |
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 09:03:07 PM AEST
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I loved this the imagery was absolutely stunning. I almost smelt the decay this was brilliant!
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 02:17:30 PM AEST
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... You made me cry. I should hurt you. I don't like crying. At all.
This poem is amazing.
Basically.
._.
Keep writing (or die),
-Eve. |
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Re: An Empty House
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 08:04:27 AM AEST
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Am in agreement with everyone else. I would have liked to have the ghost inference slap me harder in the face, for it does have a shock factor as yet unmined.
I'd consider this theme for review for submission, as it is similar in note to The Last Sonata - and this is no bad thing.
Yet, I've still to read a few more . . .
Another excellent title . . . |
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