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Gleamed the Steel
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 06:37:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The lights went out in this room
I don't want to be here anymore
Shambling in a pitch-black prison
Why can't I find the door
Been here a thousand times
Never have I seen this before
Pounding my fist on the nearest wall
Releasing a harsh, captive roar
I question if i'm even alive
Have I met my demise in this place
I question my own sanity
As a shining blur flies across my face
Another pass, it cuts my wrist
I feel my frenzied heart race
A flash, a glare, it nicks my throat
Pernicious will o' wisp dancing with grace
The gashes are real, it seemed a dream
Wayward spectre of razors past
I hear the stirring of carrion rats
How much longer can my fading soul last
Another pass, another splintered vein
Flowing blood pours increasingly fast
Enervated, I drop to one knee
Hands wading the tepid pool of blood which amassed
The mocking glint of shimmering metal
Furthering the sanguine cascade
I feel it flow, I feel it burn
Yet can't see the wounds I have made
The only love i've ever known
Yet for something greater I would trade
Until I find progression or finality
I'll not part with the cold kiss of the blade
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-01-02 06:37:47] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Gleamed the Steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by lovingcritters on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 09:25:51 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Darker, and Darker your poetry.
Colder and colder they seem.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Lovingcritters
ConSue |
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Re: Gleamed the Steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by ShadowDaughter on
Friday, 2nd January 2004 @ 12:00:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ooooh . . . I especially liked the first two verses. Great image-forming in this one. Talk about a picture in my mind . . . !
Ai yi yi, now I can't get that idea out of my head. The room, the razor, the blood-- it's all so vivid, thanks to this.
Kinda like Connie said, you seem to have a nack for doing these dark, icy poems that at the same time blaze with fire and light and passion. It is, to say the least, quite interesting.
Nicely done.
--Nora |
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Re: Gleamed the Steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by jaeann on
Sunday, 4th January 2004 @ 09:56:43 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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you had me at your comment alone..........wow........ |
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Re: Gleamed the Steel
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eve on
Thursday, 15th January 2004 @ 02:02:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Flowing and halting at the same time... quite like a confused mind.
Good work once again. Excuse me while I go find my breath.
Keep writing (or else),
-Eve. |
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