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First Flight
Contributed by
TwistedKnickers
on
Saturday, 20th December 2003 @ 09:16:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Born knowing,
she squirms.
A brittle, glass skin
woven womb - tomb twisted, twisting
push and pump.
Fight. Fight and tear a blur
of convulsing brown panic.
Suffocating claw and scrape
away her mucous shards.
Explodes and cracks a long-held breath
in stretching Glory.
Bright!
She knows.
In moments' breath - black flying stomach Scream.
The foul breath of Life, ripe
with talons.
Pain as sharp and sliver-swift, she flies
on shredded threads of silk and wing.
Blue wind and green,
cool and fresh in moments' breath.
Then just as well alights this mercy
and she is stuffed
into the gaping mouth of Life.
God awakens and goes about his business.
Copyright ©
TwistedKnickers
... [
2003-12-20 21:16:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: First Flight
(User Rating: 1 )
by SinfullyTwisted on
Saturday, 20th December 2003 @ 11:56:12 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| An intriguing and darkly beautiful write. Striking imagery! I loved it. Great job. |
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Re: First Flight
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 21st December 2003 @ 06:21:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very strong, thought prevoking write
Good job!
peace, joym luv,
emy
Hapy holidays |
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Re: First Flight
(User Rating: 1 )
by TwistedKnickers on
Sunday, 21st December 2003 @ 09:54:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Thank you for your time and kind reviews. After reading this aloud to myself a number of times, I decided to amend it a bit.
The Awakening (new title)
Born knowing,
the Monarch squirms.
A brittle, glass skin
woven womb - tomb twisted, twisting wriggle push and pump wrench and rip Fight. Fight and tear a blur of convulsing brown panic suffocating claw and scrape
away the rigid mucous shards.
The vacuum cracks a long-held breath...
Behold her coronation
in stretching Glory.
In moments' breath - black flying stomach Scream.
The foul stench of Life, ripe
with talons.
Pain as sharp and sliver-swift, flies
on shredded silk and wing.
Blue wind and green
cool and fresh in moments' breath.
Then just as well alights this mercy
and she is stuffed
into the gaping mouths
of Life.
God awakens and goes about his business. |
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