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In Retrospect
Contributed by
remy
on
Saturday, 20th December 2003 @ 04:51:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
|
can we skip the subject?
i'm not so strong willed as before
the brigadier in me is dying
down next to my crumpled corpse
should we culminate?
for an answer i'm ill-composed
defected from a coupled conscious
i'll gather trade for now i suppose
like one of those...
in choicest clothes...
just one of those...
survey the damage done
well in tune that i'm not the only one
allow me to gain a retrospect
change the dial and we'll be perfect
now i've garnered attention
will you remind me what happens next
i haven't studied this concept
like a piece of forgotten text
misapprehension
forgive me while i forget this
we'll come back again i'm sure
even with our amount of interest
it's better than this...
an inconsistent kiss...
it shouldn't be this...
survey the damage forgotten
well in tune that you're not the only one
allow you to gain a retrospect
i'll walk the mile and we'll be perfect
forget the cynicism eating me
it doesn't matter now
i'll put away the anger seed
it doesn't work for now
forget the mistakes far passed
forget the damage at last
Copyright ©
remy
... [
2003-12-20 16:51:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In Retrospect
(User Rating: 1 )
by aernby on
Saturday, 20th December 2003 @ 05:05:47 PM AEST
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remy, a classy write about the end(?) of an affair...
i cannot decide if the lack of punctuation and the resultant ambiguity helps or hinders your poem . . .
well done
aern+ |
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Re: In Retrospect
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Saturday, 20th December 2003 @ 08:52:09 PM AEST
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aww... good write..... *hugs*
"Time, it makes it fine
That’s how we make this life
Makes it fine
It makes it right"
- The Early November
though it's simple, I've found that lyric quite inspiring lately........
.
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