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any suggestions for one?
Contributed by
infedelity_hurts
on
Sunday, 14th December 2003 @ 10:49:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
hair falling around your face,
like loose rocks falling from a deserted cliff
crashing into the beautiful sea
that creates waves from your eyes to mine
eyesight falls to your chest
admiring your perfect breasts,
like beautiful mountains,
that i would climb,
just to hear your voice
you make nature seem ugly
nothing would dare to try and compare
you can wake up and look better than models
and when you sleep, i feel like sleeping
because i know i'll dream of you...
such a sweet complexion you have
skin so smooth, it makes silk feel like sandpaper
legs sleek, and face faultless
why did i have to fall in love
with someone to good for me to have...?
your words will be like knives
please aim the blades at my neck
so i can still gaze at your beauty
but i dont have to feel this pain in my heart..
dont make it too hard
dont make it too hard for
dont make it too hard for me
luckily i am equipped for despair...
Copyright ©
infedelity_hurts
... [
2003-12-14 22:49:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: any suggestions for one?
(User Rating: 1 )
by todayswoman on
Sunday, 14th December 2003 @ 11:05:02 PM AEST
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Suggestion for the poem From Hello ( She had you from hello)
Or Intrigued beauty
I think it was a well written poem. Beautiful write on a soft erotica desire.It showed your longing wanting and desire it painted a vivid picture of The intrigue you feel for her. However one small pet peeve.I don't think it should be posted here without a content rating. (Perhaps put in your description an age rating )
No offence just a concerned mom. Hope my suggestions to the name help.Great write :)
Rose
http://www.todays-woman.net |
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Re: any suggestions for one?
(User Rating: 1 )
by ginsdance on
Sunday, 14th December 2003 @ 11:11:14 PM AEST
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This poem was beautiful. But how can the narrator feel so sure that he will be rejected? Maybe, in time, this goddess in this poem could come to care for the guy. Beauty isn't always just skin deep. I think that the content is ok for the sight, but there are some younger readers, and posters, on this site. great write though. thanks for sharing.
ginsdance
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Re: any suggestions for one?
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Monday, 15th December 2003 @ 12:13:13 AM AEST
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Dear Infedelity,
I never critize another's masterpiece, for each poet writes with his heart's strings...extensions from his soul. I don't know what you are feeling at the time, and would never pretend to be so bold! I found this poem, sweet, delicate,desperate,even delicious in a loving kind way. Your comparison with nature was most fascinating to me, for I love nature near the sea.
She is the ulitimate beauty in your eyes, and heart, if I was naming your poem, from the start, it would simply be, Beauty, or No other, perhaps, What I see? Or What I feel?
Your poem was beautiful poetry....and I love beauty.
lovingcritters
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