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Did you think I would Forget?
Contributed by
Avery
on
Wednesday, 28th August 2002 @ 04:53:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Did you think i would forget?
I remember.
Despite what you may wish...
I remember.
Like shimmers in a pond
These memories flash before me
Some certain
Others fleeting fears...
I remember the smell of your breath
The alcohol on your lips
You had gin and tonic that night
The touch of your sweaty palms on my bare arms
They were cold and wet
Did i make you sweat?
Was it the look of fear in my eyes
Or the feeling of my tight body under yours?
You ripped my shirt
Did it make you feel strong?
I remember the slur in your speech
The spit that flew as you laughed with your friends
The look in your eyes as you felt so in control
Your blue ones stared back at me, flat, uncarring
Then the brown ones of your friend
Almost sympathetic but much more pleased while he was getting his action in
I remember the beer spilled on my sweater
I smelled it the next morning and nearly died of shame
I still feel your teeth as they bear down on my breast
I shouted, i struggled, i tried my best
The Jacket that your other friend wore
Had a green frog on it
God how i wish i didnt have to stare at that frog while he violated me again and again
The drug in my drink had dulled me for the time
But I was hit repeatedly in the weeks to come
With vivid imagery and painful reminders of what happened
Your last friends nails had dirt under them
I could see it when he had his hand over my mouth and his fingers right in front of my eyes
I remember your fists, hard and unforgiving
How i wished for weeks that i had not gone on living
The words that you threw at me, cut me so deep
But none of them as deep as what you carved above my knee
A brand of shame you left upon my skin
A daily reminder you permanently left with me
A sign of filth and the whore that you made me that night
A mark that nearly makes me want to drop this fight
But i remember
The feel of my warm blood trickling down my leg
I remember the smell of the chalk from the pool table on your hands
The feel of them in my hair
Not yours though, the hands of your friend as he held me down
You couldnt even leave me with that
A lock of my hair as a token of your conquest
But you have not won yet
There is a battle continuing in me
One to live on, a battle to be free
Free of the pain you brought me
The trust you stole from me
My purity that you wrenched from me
This battle will never be over
That much I know
But I promise you now
I will never let go.
Because I remember
Each face and name
I remember all the fear and pain
Some day there will be justice
It may not be now
But there will be a time when i show you how...
How it feels to be so helpless
Used, disregarded, hurt and discarded
Just know that I remember all that i can
You have not beat me
No matter what control you had over me then
Or how big and bad you felt as i wept
Curled in a ball on that table
Half naked, beaten, bruised and bleeding...
I may have been used and hurt that night by you and your friends...
But there is something that you must face each time you see me on campus or in your class
It is something that you cannot hide from as you look in my eyes as we pass in the hall
The knowledge that i didnt leave
I didnt run and hide
You get to see me everywhere
Eachday getting stronger
Knowing that anyday i could have your lives
Go on living and walking through your routine
But know this is a fact and remember this one thing
Not one of you is a real man
As much as you think you are
All the control you had
Means nothing in the end
Because i am still here and i have survived
See, I Remember everything about you
Everything from that night
And yet i am still here and i have survived.
Copyright ©
Avery
... [
2002-08-28 16:53:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Did you think I would Forget?
(User Rating: 1 ) by MisterRight on
Wednesday, 28th August 2002 @ 05:38:08 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Excellent piece, so much emotion... what I would give for five minutes alone with one of those guys. I'm sorry you went through that, no one should have to... makes me ashamed to be a man.
Keep writing and keep fighting
Curtis |
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Re: Did you think I would Forget?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Clarity on
Wednesday, 28th August 2002 @ 11:43:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is beautifully written. u've got fire inside u that no one can ever take from u. don't ever let it burn out. u'll get those guys...people like that just aren't worth the air their breathing wastes.
luv,
jen |
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Re: Did you think I would Forget?
(User Rating: 1 ) by conversations on
Thursday, 29th August 2002 @ 12:56:00 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Keep growing stronger! You have touched my heart! |
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Re: Did you think I would Forget?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Wednesday, 10th September 2003 @ 09:22:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*Writing thru tears*
I can't begin to imagine the pain you must experience. To be able to write this you have shown great strength and character. I applaud you for this. I'm glad to know that you have survived this...
Hugs
Jenni |
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