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why did you make me lie to you?

Contributed by Cancer on Saturday, 13th December 2003 @ 01:15:03 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



feigned the happiness
that you wanted to see
couldn't let you see my true eyes
you didn't have time for me

i'm not asking for your sympathy
i just want to know why it ****** you off
to see my true feelings
when i was depressed or angry
you begrudged me for not playing my part

why did i have to act for you
it's not as if i wanted anything from you
i didn't want your ******* pity
and i didn't need your feeble help
i could get by on my own
but you just made it harder
another person i had to lie to
painted that crooked smile on my face
so YOU could sleep better at night

don't let me get in the way
i don't know how i would live with myself

i'm almost sorry that i turned out to be
more of a problem than you thought i'd be
guess you should of thought about that
before i was conceived
now I don't have time for YOUR frustration
so suck it up and get over it

"can't you try to be happy?"
what a novel idea!
how did such advanced thought escape me
you ******* ape
you can't even see past your job
and when you do
all you see is a disappointment
never saw a child in trouble
never saw a boy, about to break
"if jesse can make good grades, you can too"
yes i could, but i didn't
because i didn't care
what's it gonna take to get that through your thick skull
i can't dumb this down much more
"why can't you just see that everybody isn't out to get you?"
i won't lie
i nearly killed you when you said that
how you could be so blind
so ignorant
still amazes me

but once i moved out
you totally changed
i'd never seen you that happy
that easy going
and i don't think you'll ever know
just how much that hurt
how much it ****** with me
to see how great you felt
to see me leave
guess you figured i wasn't your problem anymore

and know you give me the fake smile
the fake laugh
like i've seen you give to so many others
i think that that hurts worst of all
the knowledge that i've become
one of the people you lie to
one of the people that you fake for
like i'm not even your son anymore
just someone that you have to be civil towards

but if i died, you'd cry
though i doubt you'd even understand why
you'd just go through the motions
like you always did
when i was your son
back before i tore free
of the pedestal you nailed me to
the spotlight that you forced me into
back before i stopped existing for you
and started living for myself

but i won't lie
i still love you
and i think, somehow, you love me too
but sadly, you don't really love me
just love the idea of what you wanted me to be




Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2003-12-13 01:15:03]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: why did you make me lie to you? (User Rating: 1 )
by 13Hopes on Saturday, 13th December 2003 @ 02:28:50 AM AEST
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Wow, you tell em...

Cheers
#13


Re: why did you make me lie to you? (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Saturday, 13th December 2003 @ 02:40:14 AM AEST
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wow.........ouch......excellent rant........


Re: why did you make me lie to you? (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Saturday, 13th December 2003 @ 09:38:58 PM AEST
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I actually liked this a lot. I spose this was about/to yer parent(s) and I can relate to this quite a bit in regards to my parents although its not nearly as bad. Don't let them get u down!

Bobo (Joel)




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