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Vitreous
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Thursday, 11th December 2003 @ 12:49:40 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Fallen through the cracks
A reject, a defect
A soldier without orders
No soul, out of control
False front of sanity belies
What 'neath the vanity hides
The stone that pierces the water blue
Is the truth that will expose you
The brightest star is the quickest to burn out
Those that are close are the ones to doubt
Fallen through the cracks
A reject, a defect
A robot with no program
No soul, out of control
The mirror is what will hide
Each time you wish to gaze inside
The thickest shield will not matter
Trust not in that which shatters
What is most evil seems most serene
A picture that will break like a porcelain figurine
A mind who's limit has been reached
A sinking ship, the hull has been breached
A window meets force
Now pieces, now shards
The field disintegrates
Now vapor, now smoke
A stone in the water breaks it apart
The stone vanishes but the water is how it would start
Tiny fragments where the mirror had been
But unlike the water it won't come together again
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2003-12-11 00:49:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Vitreous
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 11th December 2003 @ 01:16:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I really liked reading this .. it was a very good write.. I liked how you used the rejected part and the fragileness.. I like the way you write great job!!
peace, joy and hope
JENNA |
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Re: Vitreous
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 11th December 2003 @ 02:15:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a really good poem, VS
Your images were so clear and so was your morass.
Using a mirror, a shattered mirror seems to be the best way for you to appear....naturally it would for your name and it are so near!
This was an excellent write VS. I enjoyed it very much!
I'd be sure and sent this one along.
Warm Poetic Love,
ConSue |
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Re: Vitreous
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Thursday, 11th December 2003 @ 03:38:45 PM AEST
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Wow.
I say again, wow.
Impressive! Beautifully done, one of the best I've read. This is a work of art.
-~Nora~- |
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Re: Vitreous
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Sunday, 14th December 2003 @ 10:26:16 AM AEST
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I think I'm going to fall over. There's no end to your genius.
Keep writing, or have writer's block,
-Eve. |
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Re: Vitreous
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Wednesday, 24th March 2004 @ 09:08:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I Love you... lol dan, you are amazing, taking another book from my paradox of pages, truely another masterpiece my friend
unbelievable
Luke |
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